


you, in my arms

by pseudoserendipity



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Drinking, a few more characters will be added later on, he meets mark and awkward endearing teenage romance ensues, hyuck gets transferred to a private christian boarding school senior year of high school, idk what to tag this really, jaeyong is only really mentioned, markhyuck are in the same grade but marks still a little older, nomin is only very minor, seriously this is the fluffiest thing ive ever written, yeah guess that works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-05-25 09:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14973986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudoserendipity/pseuds/pseudoserendipity
Summary: Mark wasn't expecting to be thrown a curve ball at the start of his senior year of high school--his private, mundane, Christian boarding school. Even more unexpected was that it would come in the shape of a flashy, quick-witted, bronzed teenage boy.Just like everyone else, they start off as strangers, quickly becoming friends after meeting and...staying friends. Mark didn't really anticipate anything past that.But somewhere between the stolen glances and sneaking out past curfew, the shared smiles and laughing so hard his sides feel about ready to burst, the gentle touches and carding fingers through fading, fiery hair on his lap. Somewhere between these precious, everyday moments, Mark finds himself falling in love with Lee Donghyuck.





	1. agnosia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So recently markhyuck kind of took over my life and this was the immediate result of that merp. I put my yutae fic on hold to write this but I will be picking it right back up after I've finished this, which I almost have. 
> 
> I got the inspiration to write this from listening to Haechan sing in his boy video for dream. He sang this really beautiful ballad, my heart tumbled and my mind just kinda wandered into this idea so uh yeah, hope everyone enjoys this story!
> 
> If you don't know what video I'm talking about, bless your ears here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9uoe5JTZrc

Mark hears him before he sees him.

He’s walking down the familiar bleak hallway when he hears an unfamiliar tune accompanied by an unfamiliar but definitely not unwelcome voice. Mesmerized, he follows the melodic sound to what was supposed to be an empty classroom a few steps ahead.

When he turns the corner, Mark wasn’t really prepared for a blinding view of the sun.

A boy, with cherry red hair and chocolate skin, is sitting on a table in the front of the room, his legs idly swinging back and forth as he calmly sings a soft tune into the open nothingness of the room.

Mark freezes in his spot, gaze intent on the stranger’s...everything. His bright, blazing red hair, the contrasting soft planes of his cheek, the ever so slightly overgrown fringe that subtly falls over his eyes. This stunning image, combined with the serene sound of his uniquely pitched voice, makes Mark feel like he’s on sensory overload. He’s unsure of how long he stands there, just watching and listening to this unknown boy singing wondrously with all the ease in the world. It’s like he’s been put under a trance, unable to make a single movement or utter even the slightest sound.

Listening to the lyrics, Mark’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. The song is rather melancholic, aiming to elicit bittersweet sadness but the boy’s all too pleasant voice almost adds a slight cheeriness to it. And he thinks that the picture of melow contentedness on the boy’s face certainly contributes to the effect as well.

Just standing there, watching and listening to this stranger sing, Mark can feel himself getting lulled into a similar state of serenity. He doesn’t even realize he’s been holding his breath until the unknown boy suddenly turns his head towards the door where he’s standing. Their eyes meet, making Mark gasp unexpectedly. With much dread, he waits for the boy to start yelling at him for being a creep.

But much to his surprise, the boy doesn’t even stop singing, completely unfazed by his unexpected audience. He keeps his eyes on him as he finishes the last few lines, lips curled up in slight amusement. With the prolonged eye contact, Mark quickly notices a subtle, dark lining around the boy’s eyes. His gaze falls a little lower and he sees a faint glimmer on his lips.

Mark’s a bit awestruck. He’s never seen someone so...different. Enchanting, he thinks. And almost haunting. All he’s ever known is dullness, the same dark brown or black head of hair on everyone, the same bland, tacky uniforms. He was used to it, to the normalcy of it all. But this boy disrupts that entirely with his angelic voice and devilish grin and it all has Mark teetering just a little bit off balance.

The two haven’t broken eye contact yet and Mark knows his entire face must resemble a tomato at this point but still he can’t find it in him to look away.

When the boy finally finishes, the room is engulfed with an abrupt quietness. Still a little bit dazed, all Mark can do is blink back at the stranger that just captivated him like nothing else in his 18 years of living on this earth has. He knows it’s starting to get awkward but it feels like his throat just clammed up. And it’s not like his brain could come up with anything to say anyways.

“So are you just gonna keep staring at me?” the boy suddenly asks with a small grin on his face. It takes a few more seconds of Mark just standing there, gaping until he can finally manage to at least splutter out some rushed words.

“Oh I uh- Sorry, I was just- I um heard someone and I uh...I don’t know I didn’t really think about it but I just-”

A soft giggle escapes the boy’s lips, thankfully interrupting Mark’s babbling and unthankfully causing the stuttering boy’s face to flare up once again.

“At ease soldier, I’m not gonna report you for harassment or anything. Unless you actually have voyeuristic tendencies?” he says with a completely neutral expression and a raised brow.

“What? I- Of course not geez…” Mark retorts a little too defensively as he brings his gaze down and his hand up to the back of his neck.

“I’m just messing with you,” the strange boy reassures him with a warm smile, far too entertained by what was supposed to be an objectively awkward encounter.

Silence fills the room once more and Mark isn’t entirely sure what in the world it is that makes him blurt his thoughts aloud. His brain hasn’t even had time to catch up to his mouth before the words start to naturally roll off his tongue.

“Your voice is really beautiful.”

Mark’s gut reaction is to outwardly cringe at his uncharacteristic forwardness but when he realizes how much truth and sincerity the words hold, he relaxes. He looks at the figure ahead of him with just a little bit of confidence.

For a moment, the boy actually looks kind of stunned, his initial smugness completely being overtaken by a sudden softness in his eyes. It takes him another second or two before he quickly shakes his head with a slight scoff, confident bravado back in place.

“Jaemin would be warning you right now about feeding my already bursting-at-the-seams ego.”

“Jaemin?” Mark inquires.

“My best friend from back home,” the boy answers, a forlorn smile briefly passing through his face.

“Ah. I figured you were new here. You kinda get to know everyone in a tiny boarding school,” Mark explains with a shrug, relieved at the sudden fluidity in their conversation. The boy nods before hopping off the table and extending his arms out and bending to his side for a casual stretch. A sliver of golden skin slips through the fabric. Mark gets the urge to--and does--look away as he shuffles in his spot by the door.

“I’m gonna stick out aren’t I?” the saccharine voice asks just then, catching his attention. Mark takes one look at the boy’s bright red hair, obnoxiously orange long sleeves and ripped black jeans and figured it was useless to even try to lie.

“Like a sore, neon thumb.” It elicits unabashed laughter from the stranger, the infectious sound ringing in Mark’s eardrums. He can’t help but let out a small chuckle himself.

“Good. That was kinda the plan,” the boy says with a firm nod.

“You know we have school uniforms right?”

“Yeah and they’re just _sooo_ cool looking. Real shame that I lost them,” he responds with a dramatic sigh. “It’s tragic, really.”

“Yeah I can tell you’re really taken by it,” Mark adds, going along with the other’s act. They smile at each other and Mark feels just a little bit lighter. He’s about to ask for the boy’s name but the other beats him to it.

“My name’s Haechan,” the now named stranger announces with a hand held out. Mark takes the few steps forward to take the offered hand in his own.

“I’m Mark. Mark Lee.”

They look into each other’s eyes and if their handshake lingers for a few seconds too long, neither of them acknowledge it.

Haechan is the first to pull away, casually placing his hands in his pockets afterwards and leaning back on the desk he had just been sitting on. His eyes wander for a while before landing on the clock in the front of the room. He stares at it, dumbstruck for a little while before bringing his head back with a sigh.

“I was wondering why no one was showing up. You must have read the time wrong too, huh?” Haechan says as he turns to Mark, head still thrown back. Mark finds himself distractedly tracing the outline of the boy’s Adam’s apple. It takes another second or two for the question that was thrown at him to fully register in his brain and he panics when it finally does.

“O-oh no, I just like getting here early,” he finally says with a shrug of his shoulders, to which Haechan responds with a look of open disgust.

“Geez, didn’t peg you for a masochist either- oh but that phrasing though,” he says, the last line more to himself as he smirks.

“Yo can you chill with the sexual innuendos? You _are_ at a Christian school, you know,” Mark sounds like he’s scolding him but the smile on his face says that he doesn’t really give a damn.

“I’m aware. And that’s exactly why I’m going to head back to my dorm to pray. In my dreams,” Haechan flashes Mark a quick smile of fake innocence before walking past him and out the door. Mark turns around and stops right outside of the classroom, calling out to the retreating figure.

“Classes are gonna start in like half an hour!”

“What kind of transfer student would I be if I didn’t show up fashionably late on the first day?” Haechan retorts without turning back. Mark stares at the red head of hair until it disappears around a corner. He smiles to himself before stepping back into the now empty classroom. He sits in the desk that Haechan had been in, feeling a newfound bubbliness and excitement for the day that’s to come.

As he waits for students to start trickling in, he finds himself quietly humming the tune of a certain song and picturing the charming, red-haired boy that sang it.

 

\----------

 

Mark greets a few of the people in his class, but for the most part he remains in his seat until the class starts. He had always hung out with the upper class men so he was never particularly close to anyone in his own grade. But he considers them his friends nonetheless--pleasant acquaintances if you will.

He keeps an eye out for a particular someone but true to said person’s words, by the time the teacher walks into the room and tells everyone to quiet down, the red-haired boy was still nowhere to be found.

It wasn’t until the middle of English class when the door slides open to reveal a panting Haechan, hair only slightly tousled. Everyone naturally turns to the sudden interruption to the lecture. Mark could hear the whispers that immediately started to buzz in the room.

“So you are joining us after all. Gentlemen, this is Donghyuck Lee, he’ll be attending this school from now on,” the teacher explains, putting a pause to his lecture to introduce the new student.

Mark questioningly furrows his eyebrows at the introduction.

“Oh um, I actually go by Haechan,” the boy announces, an unexpected shyness in his voice.

“Ah, my mistake then. Everyone, treat Haechan well. Even though he deems it acceptable to sleep in on the first day of classes,” he adds with a teasing look. Some of the boys chuckle. Haechan mouths a silent ‘sorry,’ not looking the least bit embarrassed or remorseful.

“He also seems to have forgotten about the dress code. Are you going to be giving me troubles for the rest of the year Mr. Lee?” the teacher continues, not so jokingly this time as he gives Haechan a once over from the top of his red head to the holes in his jeans.

“Oh no sir, I just missed orientation. I never got my uniform.”

Mark realizes that he definitely would have remembered seeing a brand new face if he were there. Not to mention the blaring, firetruck red hair.

“Well, you can come to my office after class, I’ll personally hand you a pair. And we can go over the student handbook together since it appears that you’ve skipped the entirety of the dress code portion,” the teacher tells him firmly, eyes lingering on his bright hair, silver ear cuffs and subtle but definitely noticeable makeup. “Take a seat, Mr. Lee.”

Haechan gives the old man the fakest smile he can muster before heading towards an empty seat in the back of the class. People are definitely staring at him but he pays them no mind.

Mark wasn’t an exception either. He’s had his eyes on him since the second he opened the door. So when Haechan finally catches his gaze and returns it with a playful smile, he doesn’t know why he’s slightly taken aback as if he hadn’t been practically boring a hole into the boy’s face.

Haechan ends up sitting in the same row as him in the very back of the class but a seat over. Mark can’t help but feel a little disappointed at the distance.

For the rest of the class, he tries to focus his gaze forward on the board. And he does a pretty good job until he feels a light force hit his right arm. He looks to the source and notices a crumpled piece of paper on his desk. He steals a quick glance to his side but the kid next to him entirely blocks out Haechan’s frame. Mark watches the teacher carefully, making sure that he’s still facing the board before slowly unraveling the paper under his desk, careful not to make too much noise. His eyes flit down to quickly read its contents.

  

> _Mr. Park’s bald spot is really distracting._

 

Mark fails to stop the snort that immediately threatens to come out so he ends up coughing loudly in a panicked attempt to cover up the sound.

“You alright there, Mark?” the teacher turns to ask in genuine concern.

“Y-yeah I’m fine, sir. Sorry about that,” he responds all too quickly with a prominent blush on his cheeks. As soon as the teacher turns his attention back to the board, Mark turns to his side to send a glare to Haechan.

In that moment, his neighbor happens to lean back in his chair to stretch and when he finally catches a glimpse of the red-haired boy’s face, he’s met with an obnoxiously smug grin.   

Mark knows he should feel extremely annoyed after almost getting in trouble (which would be an atrocious stain on his pristine slate) but instead he finds himself just wanting to laugh again.

It’s only the first day of meeting Haechan but something in the back of his head is telling him that things aren’t going to be quite the same from now on.

Maybe he should be a little scared. But all he feels is undeniable excitement tingling in the back of his head.

 

\----------

 

“You’re an ass,” Mark regards the boy sitting by the empty staircase, plopping himself right next to the orange lump. He notices that Haechan looks even smaller with his knees close to his chest.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth, young man?” Haechan retorts with a hand to his chest, dramatically feigning offense. Mark scoffs with an amused smile.

“You’re insufferable. We’ve just met and you’re already trying to ruin my life.”

“Please, I hardly think getting caught laughing at an objectively funny note counts as ruining your life. Plus I stand by what I said. Dude really needs a wig.”

Mark laughs at Haechan’s ridiculous fixation on their professor’s fading follicles. He suddenly stops when he realizes something.

“Wait speaking of which, aren’t you supposed to go meet him right now?” he reminds the other, who promptly looks away, no intentions of acknowledging his question.

“You know, Mr. Park’s actually one of the nicer teachers here. They’re pretty strict with the dress code. I especially do not recommend walking into Mrs. Kim’s class looking like that,” he continues.

“Looking like what?” Haechan whips his head to pin him down with his eyes, seemingly defensive all of a sudden. The abrupt change in the other’s demeanor takes Mark by surprise, but he shakes it off quickly.

“Like a normal teenager,” he answers calmly and honestly. Haechan holds his hard gaze for a bit longer before softening his expression and looking away with a sort of shyness. He rests his chin on one of his knees.

“I don’t think normal teenage boys wear eyeliner. Or lip gloss,” he responds, voice a little quieter. His eyes are fixed on the top of his white shoes, picking nervously on the laces. Mark ponders the comment.

“Yeah I guess not,” he concedes. Haechan’s hands stop their movements. “But does that really matter?” Mark offers.

When Haechan looks up at him this time, he seems...intrigued. There’s a hint of a spark in his eyes, like a kid who’s just taken their first step at an amusement park, taking in the view of something new and promising.

“No. It doesn’t,” he answers with a small smile. Mark nods with a smile of his own.

“But seriously you should go to Mr. Park. You’re gonna have to start wearing the uniform eventually you know.”

Haechan makes sure to extend the roll of his eyes as long as possible. He’s about to say something in response when Mark interrupts him.

“Besides, I just made this really cool friend. It would suck if he got kicked out just when I met him,” he says, voice kind of falling off towards the end when he notices the way Haechan is looking at him. Whatever Haechan was planning on saying gets stuck in his throat, quickly being forgotten. There’s a pause between them.

“Who says we’re friends?” Haechan asks just then with the most serious expression. Mark being Mark, the sarcasm completely flies over his head and he starts rambling in a state of embarrassment. He actually starts sulking.

“I don’t know I mean, I just thought you might want to be but if you really don’t want to I get it-”

Haechan’s high-pitched laugh cuts through his rushed words and just like that, all the worry in Mark’s head melts into a puddle of non-existence.

“You are so easy to tease. Oh man, I’m gonna have so much fun with you,” Haechan says, more of a note to himself. Even though he was glad that the other was joking, Mark was still a little bit red in the face. He’s about to let out a complaint when he sees Haechan’s hand stretched out towards him.

“We already shook hands,” Mark says in simple reminder.

“Yeah but this is the official one, the ‘hey we’re for real friends now’ handshake,” Haechan responds, bringing his hand closer to coax the other to take it. Mark looks at the tan hand for a second longer before clasping it around his own, but not before making a show to roll his eyes. Haechan lights up at the contact, a genuine smile painting his face.  

“You should be honored that I’ve chosen to consistently bless you with my presence,” the red-haired boy quips, mischief in his eyes.

Mark feels like he’s just signed his life away to the devil. But he can’t find it in him to feel even the slightest bit of fear or regret.

 

\----------

 

Mark isn’t sure what he’s expecting to see the next day in class. He had somehow managed to convince Haechan to go to their teacher to receive his uniform and almost certainly quite a bit of scolding as well. To be honest, he figured the other wouldn’t give in so easily. So when Haechan walks into class, ten minutes early and clad in the familiar checkered brown pants and stiff white polo, Mark ends up gaping at the unexpected sight.

“God, not even my exquisite beauty can salvage this horrendous excuse of an outfit,” Haechan confesses bitterly when he’s close enough to Mark, glaring down at his pants as if it would make it magically transform into something that isn’t offensive to his eyesight.

Mark chuckles, amused by the other’s already familiar wit and apparent misery. He glances at the boy’s crimson head.

“I’ll admit, I’ll be sad to see the red hair go,” he says. Haechan looks up at that, a confident look on his face.

“Oh no, the red’s here to stay. Till I’m bored of it at least,” he corrects the other with an added shrug.  

Mark crunches his brows in confusion. A familiar shine catches his attention just then and his eyes immediately go to the boy’s lips.  

“That stays too,” Haechan says in a softer tone. When Mark looks back up, he’s met with a coy smile. He turns his rose-tinted cheeks to the side, refusing to acknowledge it.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you gonna get in trouble?” he asks.

“I struck a bargain. Told them I would wear the uniforms but only if I got to keep my hair. Had to fight real hard for this one though,” Haechan explains with a quick point to his mouth.

“No freaking way. And they agreed?” Mark asks incredulously. Haechan nods with pride.

“I can be _very_ persuasive.”

Mark finds himself silently agreeing.

“Wow, I wish _my_ parents owned an 80-billion-dollar company. That way I can use their money to selfishly bend the school rules for me too. You must feel real special now, huh tomato head?”

Mark recognizes the owner of the stupid, nasty comment immediately. He tenses, knowing that the exchange wasn’t going to be pleasant.

Now, he’s always had this philosophy of seeking out the good in everyone. He tries to give people the benefit of the doubt and consider their circumstances first. But even with his beliefs, he can acknowledge that Kang Daehyun--in all honesty--is a twat. And for no good reason, which is even worse.

Haechan turns around to face his confronter. He wordlessly gives the boy in front of him a once-over, seemingly sizing up his opponent. Daehyun smirks, unbothered. The class becomes eerily quiet, all eyes watching the two in anticipation.

When Mark sees the telling smile of fake sweetness on Haechan’s face, he already feels sorry for the poor boy that had unknowingly picked a fight he had no chance of winning.

“Wow, I don’t know whether to be flattered or creeped out that you actually took the time out of your day to sit down on your computer and look me up on the internet. Oh hey, maybe you would like my autograph?” Haechan actually reaches for his backpack to fish out pen and paper.

This time, Mark doesn’t bother muffling the snort that the boy elicits out of him. The grin on Daehyun’s face disappears in an instant.

“I don’t want your fucking-” Haechan interrupts him with an exaggerated gasp.

“Language, sir! Does this class have a swear jar?” Haechan turns to ask Mark in a slightly lowered voice, sounding all too serious. Mark just shakes his head with an amused smile.

“You think you’re so funny, don’t you?” Daehyun sneers.

“I do actually, yeah. You should try it someday you know--having humor. Careful though, you might hurt the few brain cells you have left trying to be clever.”

A few students let out a quiet chuckle.

Daehyun was fuming at this point, at a loss of what to say. The boy had bitten off way more than he could chew. And the entire class was watching him choke. Mark expects him to just walk away at this point but he seems to take note of something all of a sudden, arrogant smirk back up on his face. Mark already has a bad feeling before the words even leave the boy’s mouth.

“Nice lipstick, faggot.”

Mark’s face falls, all traces of amusement wiped clean off of it. He can’t see Haechan’s face but he’s quiet and unmoving in front of him. He can feel the suffocating tension in the room and he’s suddenly overcome by a rush of anger. He’s about to jump up, demand that the other take his despicable words back but before he can do so, an airy, high-pitched laughter breaks through the deafening silence.

Haechan was clutching his stomach, bent over from the force of his own laughter. Daehyun looks on, more confused than anything.

“S-sorry it’s just- oh my god that was so predictably unoriginal. And- and you looked so proud too like you finally said something of actual merit- shit hold on, I’m dying-” Haechan cuts himself off, unable to continue talking between fits of laughter. Daehyun’s frowning again by the time Haechan manages to calm down.

“Oh oops, I slipped up didn’t I?” he says right when he finishes, tossing an imaginary bill to the non-existent swear jar.

Before either of the boys could say anything more, Mr. Park enters the classroom. He immediately notices the students in a loose circular formation, Haechan and Daehyun in the dead center of it.  

“Is something the matter gentlemen?” he calls out to the two.

“He’s violating the school policy, sir. Why isn’t he being punished?” Daehyun doesn’t miss a beat with his accusation. The man pauses briefly, gathering his thoughts.

“Well, that’s certainly true for the current policy. But Haechan here has expressed his intentions to directly contact the school’s board of education to dispute said policy. Meanwhile, he’s requested me to kindly withhold punishment until after the results of his pursuits. To which I complied.”

“Yeah? How much money did he give you?” Daehyun insists, tone accusatory. Mr. Park raises an eyebrow at the insolent question but he remains calm.

“Money wasn’t involved in the slightest, Mr. Kang. He had very valid points and it was clear that it was something he had given serious thought to prior to entering the school. Haechan is an intelligent young man with sincere intentions. You would do well to follow in his example,” Mr. Park finishes with finality.

The rest of the boys in the class seems to understand this as they all start settling into their seats, a little disappointed that the entertaining debacle was over. Daehyun stands there for a bit longer, slightly stunned. He eventually retreats to his seat too, tail between his legs. Haechan looks towards the professor and sends him a thankful nod in silence. The older man returns the gesture.

The class goes on as if nothing had happened. When it’s over and Mark finishes putting his things away, he looks towards the seat one over from his, excited to gush in admiration to his new friend. But when he looks over, there’s nothing but empty space.

 

\----------

 

Mark is standing in front of an unfamiliar door, the copper plating of 342 staring at him intimidatingly. He isn’t sure why he’s nervous but for some reason he is. He’s being silly, he thinks. So with a quick shake of his head and a light pat to his cheek, he brings his hand up to the wooden slab and hits his knuckles against it three times.

He waits for a few seconds, hand suspended up in the air. From the lack of an immediate response, he figures the other isn’t in and starts to turn around, slightly disappointed.

“Mark?” he hears the muffled voice call out from inside the room just then. He whips around at that and places himself right in front of the door again.

“Yeah, it’s me. You busy? Can I, uh, come in?” he asks tentatively. For a while, he only hears silence and he wonders if he had somehow imagined the voice that called out his name. Before he can fully explore the possibility of this, he hears shuffling feet get closer. The door is finally opened and he’s greeted by the sight of Haechan, already smirking. But Mark notices something slightly off about him.

“Mark Lee, don’t tell me you’re stalking me now too?”

He automatically translates the sarcastic Haechan speak to normal terms, ‘how did you find out where my dorm room is.’ He’s about to tell the other to politely shut the hell up when he notices the very subtle watery sheen on the boy’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asks without a pause. He steps into the boy’s room, making the other fall back a little. He shuts the door behind him and waits for an answer, worry etched on his face. Haechan shows a brief look of surprise but in the next second he’s scoffing.

“You’re the one that just barged into my room, you tell me.” There’s a certain bite to his tone and if it could take physical shape, it would probably be in very bold letters above Haechan’s head spelling out the words ‘back off.’

Mark isn’t fond of confrontation so normally he would immediately comply and take himself out of the tense situation but something tells him to stay. So he does just that. He wordlessly goes towards the desk and plants himself down on the seat in front of it. He puts his hands on his lap and begins to inspect his palms, no intention to talk. Really this was his way of communicating his stubbornness and refusal to leave the other alone until he talked.

Haechan seems to receive his silent message loud and clear as he gives off a rather exasperated sigh. He goes towards his own bed but doesn’t sit on it, instead sliding down to settle on the floor in front of it, resting his back against the frame and letting the back of his head touch the top of the mattress. Mark observes him in his spot, waiting patiently.

“That guy is such a twat.”

The comment suddenly comes out from the red-haired boy’s lips. Mark can’t help but let out a chuckle at the unexpected start.

“Seriously, I’ve never met someone who’s so literally the definition of it. I’m almost impressed,” he continues in his usual joking tone. He pauses. “I stand by what I said, it’s the oldest and most boring insult in the book. But man does it pack a mean punch still,” Haechan lets out, voice breaking just a little at the end as he laughs bitterly to himself.

The implication of the other’s words don’t quite click right away in Mark’s head. And Haechan must notice it because he’s looking at the clueless, blank expression on his face. Haechan directs his gaze back to the ceiling with another sigh, wiping the tear that was threatening to spill over.

“Am I actually gonna tell you this just a day after meeting you?” Haechan asks incredulously, entirely to himself.

“Tell me what?” Mark asks back, finally finding it in him to speak.

Haechan turns to him in a quick movement, determination swimming in his eyes all of a sudden. Mark freezes at the intensity of the other’s gaze, not expecting the next words that slip off the other’s tongue.  

“I like boys, Mark Lee.”

Mark knows the importance behind those words and that it’s probably a pretty monumental thing but he can’t help himself from getting distracted, finding the current image of Haechan being open and vulnerable before him picturesque. And he couldn’t think of a response that wouldn’t make him sound like an idiot so he’s kind of glad when Haechan turns away from him again and doesn’t wait for the awkward reassurance. He pushes himself away from the bed and leans forward with a shrug.

“Just thought you should know, seeing as we’re friends and all that. At least, if you still want to be,” Haechan tries to sound as casual and nonchalant as possible but his voice had gotten a lot quieter and he’s doing that thing again where he’s staring at his own feet.

Something aches inside Mark when he realizes that the other must find himself in this state often enough to have developed a habit out of it.

He’s kind of acting on autopilot when he stands up from his seat and plops himself down right next to the small bundle huddled into himself. Haechan remains as he is, seemingly unbothered by the sudden proximity. He only acknowledges the other’s presence when he sees something extended into his field of vision. He traces his eyes along the hand, arm, shoulder, neck and finally into deep brown orbs that emanate nothing but acceptance.

“For real friends, right?” Mark reminds him with a warm smile. Haechan’s too stunned to move at first so Mark rolls his eyes and grabs the other’s wrist with his free hand, taking it upon himself to connect the handshake. “For real friends aren’t ignorant assholes that would leave their friend just because they happened to have been born liking the same sex,” he tells him firmly.

Haechan kind of reminded Mark of an owl in that moment. A cute baby owl that’s in complete shock. Eventually his expression relaxes and it’s replaced with a serene softness. They stopped shaking their hands a while back but neither of them make a move to let go. So their joined hands kind of just fall limply onto the ground between them. They’re quiet for a while. Haechan brings his cheek down to his knee and he smiles at the dark-haired male in front of him.

“You’re a bit dangerous, Mark Lee,” he says in an almost whisper. But given that they’re the only two people in the relatively small room, Mark has no problem hearing every single syllable.

He feels a dull spike somewhere in his gut, and he’s confused more than anything. Before he can ask the other what he means by it, Haechan retrieves his hand from his hold and moves up to a standing position, stretching like he did when they met just the day before.

“Why didn’t you deny it right away? When he accused you of bribing our teacher?” Mark bursts out in a rush, not quite ready to let go of the moment. Haechan stops to consider the question for a second.

“What would have been the fun in that?” he simply offers with a smirk. Mark returns it with a grin, recalling fondly the idiotic face on the defeated boy. “I don’t need to prove myself to him. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone,” Haechan then adds firmly. Mark looks to him and he sees a boy who knows his strengths and hides his weaknesses. Who is so sure of who he is and isn’t willing to take bullshit from anyone.

And Mark is kind of awestruck by this...enigma that just entered--or more like violently crashed into--his quiet life. He’s usually more reserved with his words but he seems to always misplace his filter around the red-haired boy.

“You’re kind of amazing,” he lets out before he can even think about saying it.

Haechan stares at him in pensive silence for the nth time that day, the corner of his lips curling upwards in the slightest movement.  

“You’re kind of really easily impressed. But yeah, I know I am,” he gloats, earning him an expected eye roll from the other.

“Why Haechan?” Mark asks after a brief pause, seeming to have unending questions. He realizes this and blushes, afraid that the other was going to get annoyed by his intrusiveness. But Haechan doesn’t even pause to answer.

“Because Donghyuck isn’t cute,” he responds with a slightly disgusted face. “Haechan is.”

“Well I don’t think your name really matters if you yourself are cute.” Mark says the comment off-handedly, more as a general statement but Haechan is absolutely beaming in the next second and he realizes his mistake too late.

“You think I’m cute, Mark Lee?” Haechan teases, eyes full of mirth. Mark feels his face heating up.  

“Shut up, I meant-”

“Shut up? But don’t you want to hear my _really beautiful voice_?” Haechan continues, reminding the other of his own embarrassing words. Mark audibly groans and brings a hand to his temples in frustration.

“Man you’re so lucky you have such a _kind of amazing, cute_ frien- ack!”

Mark makes a move to lunge at Haechan, who manages to jump away in the last second, diving into his bed as an escape. The boy with red hair rolls around, laughing like there’s no tomorrow. The brightness that he exudes is extremely contagious and Mark finds himself easily laughing along, forgetting about the obnoxious teasing that the other had been putting him through.

For Haechan, he thinks the cringe inducing embarrassment might be worth it.

Eventually, the red-haired boy settles down and remembers that he has a guest. He looks back to him and when he does, he stills. Mark is still standing in front of his bed, looking down at him with a recognizable fondness. Haechan’s face becomes all too serious as the silence simply consumes them. He can hear the increasing tempo of his heart. He’s just started to get the urge to break the weird atmosphere when Mark decides he wasn’t done torturing him yet.

“Can I call you Donghyuck?” he asks from above with his impossibly wide doe eyes. Haechan just stares him down for a while.

“Why?” he asks back, not hiding his cautious tone.

“I like Donghyuck. It suits you better,” Mark tells him truthfully. Then, a little more shy, he adds “I think it’s cuter.”

Haechan doesn’t respond right away, pretending to mull over the decision he had already made the second the question was asked. His best friend Jaemin has been the only person to call him by his real name up until now. And he realizes it’s because everyone else just accepts Haechan right away. No one else has thought to validate or defend Donghyuck.

“Dangerous,” he whispers to himself, this time not quite loud enough for the other to catch.

“What was that?” Mark leans in out of curiosity.

“I said sure. Yeah. You can call me Donghyuck.”

“Okay. Cool,” Mark nods with a content smile. The boy in the bed looks up at him and sighs.

“You know, you have a really punchable face,” he states matter of factly. Mark squawks indignantly and Donghyuck laughs at the predictable reaction.

That day, in Donghyuck’s single dorm room, sitting on the opposite sides of his bed, they start to get to know each other. Mark tells Donghyuck about Canada and Donghyuck tells Mark about Jeju. And Mark couldn’t have known at that moment that the simple interaction would drastically snowball into countless more--into regular study sessions and periodic late night escapades, into hushed giggles and raucous sobs. Into tentative touches and bold confessions.

Mark had never been one to believe in love at first sight. So of course, he couldn’t immediately recognize it when it was staring right at him, sitting right next to him: quick-witted, and bronzed, and already making his heart drum just a fraction of a beat faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter! @pseudoserendpt


	2. wildfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit chunky but I really didn't want to cut out a single scene. The more fluff the better amirite? I hope everyone enjoys it! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments, I really do appreciate and value every single one of them.

Mark had expected a quiet weekend. It’s a Saturday and he’s sitting on his desk, about to start on one of his homework assignments when he hears a knock on the door. Before he can even turn around, his roommate--a quiet boy named Jeno--is already walking up to open the door.

Mark would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting a certain red-haired boy to be the one behind it. They had been hanging out everyday after their classes throughout the week but Mark assumed Donghyuck would want to spend time alone in the weekends. But he’s definitely not complaining that he’s evidently wrong.

“Yo. Is Mark in?” the immediately recognizable voice asks. Mark visibly perks up at the sound. Jeno just nods, giving the boy his signature eye smile as he steps aside to let him in.

Mark turns away from his desk, facing the door. He sees Donghyuck walk in and immediately sends him a smile. Meanwhile, Jeno just wordlessly walks back to his side of the room. His roommate likes to keep to himself for the most part and Mark wouldn’t really say they’re friends but he’s always felt a certain calmness and comfort around the boy.

When Donghyuck struts up to Mark, he sees the school work laid out on top of the desk. His face falls in a second.

“Oh my god are you actually doing homework? On a Saturday morning? That’s like, a crime,” Donghyuck is quick to pass his judgement. He flops himself down on the edge of Mark’s bed near his desk, not having a hard time making himself comfortable.

“Dude it’s like 2 in the afternoon,” he corrects him with a chuckle. Donghyuck just blinks at him, silently sassing him. “And I like getting a head start on the upcoming week,” Mark defends himself with a shrug. Donghyuck just rolls his eyes, deeming the statement not worthy of a verbal response. He then pulls something out of his hoodie’s pocket and pats the empty space to his left, signalling the other to join him.

“I brought my Switch, come get your ass kicked at Mario Kart,” he taunts as he holds the device up with a grin. Mark looks down at the stack of papers in front of him and back up at the boy in his bed. He sighs, thinking that he probably doesn’t have much of a choice. Not that he actually minded. He gets up from his seat and crawls onto the bed, placing himself to the left of Donghyuck, who was busily setting up the device for a two-player game.   

He watches the boy right next to him, unconsciously studying his face. In the somewhat close proximity, he notices multiple black speckling scattered along the left side of Donghyuck’s face. And surely, as any person in his shoes would, he starts counting them.

One high up on his cheek bone and one below it. One under the inner corner of his eye and one below the corner of his nose. His eyes travel lower, searching the tanned neck. He spots one in the upper corner, under the juncture of his jawline. Towards his throat, he sees the biggest one so far, right on top of his Adam’s apple. There’s another one, a bit lower and much smaller. The hoodie covers the rest of his skin but Mark isn’t quite done searching for the little black specks.

So without even thinking about it, he reaches a finger up and places it gently on the other side of the boy’s chin, pulling his hand back towards himself and causing the boy to turn and face him. He isn’t even looking him in the eye, purely focused on the mission he’s tasked himself so he doesn’t see Donghyuck’s eyes widen in alarm. He removes his finger and smiles, finding one right under the spot on his chin he was touching. He leans his head to the left, inspecting the other side of the boy’s face carefully. And there he finds the last one, right on the corner of his jawline.

9, he notes to himself. He wonders if there are more.

“Mark?” Donghyuck lets out in a cautious whisper, so quiet that the only reason Mark could hear it was because he was quite literally right in front of his face. He realizes this and he’s snapped from his trance. When he looks up, he sees the evident shock on Donghyuck’s face, his cheeks painted with a soft blush.

Fuck.

“I uh- I um. Moles. I was just counting your moles. You have a lot of them,” Mark says robotically and he hates that he can hear how stupid he sounds.

“Okay,” is all Donghyuck says in response, too shaken to even insult Mark jokingly. His face is still flushed, a shade he assumes is not too far off from his hair. Mark looks down at his palms. He closes his fist and squeezes hard, commanding himself to get a grip. He reaches for one of the remote controllers with a huff.

“Come on, don’t you have to kick my ass or something?” Mark elbows the other gently, prompting him to pick up his controller as well. Really he just wanted to break the unbelievably awkward atmosphere.

As if things couldn’t get worse, he’s suddenly reminded of the other presence in the room when he hears shuffling on the other side. He looks over and sees Jeno putting notebooks in his backpack. When he’s done, he gets up and walks towards the door.

“My friend asked to go study with him, so I’m gonna head out for a bit,” he announces casually as he reaches for the door knob.

Jeno always studied alone.

“Oh okay, yeah see you later man,” Mark responds with a simple nod anyways. Jeno smiles at them both before stepping out.

There’s an eerie silence that follows once the door is shut. Mark’s completely frozen, unable to think of a single word to say. The suffocating atmosphere was back, even heavier than before. He thinks he might actually start going crazy until he feels a not so gentle kick to his leg.

“Oi, you didn’t tell me you had a hot roommate,” Donghyuck complains out of nowhere, voice stable and back to his snarky tone. Apparently he had gotten enough time to recover. Mark looks to him, his skin back to its golden tone and he breathes a sigh of relief. It takes a second for the other’s words to actually be parsed through by his brain though.

“Jeno?” he asks dumbly after a bit of a delay. Donghyuck just nods but he still gives him that look and Mark can practically hear him thinking _‘yes genius your one and only roommate.’_ He’s still processing the statement and the implications behind it. But he figures there are none, Donghyuck just found Jeno attractive. Simple as that.

“I mean, you didn’t really tell me your type or anything,” he explains, tone neutral.

“Oh he’s not actually my type,” Donghyuck corrects him, not missing a beat. Mark raises an eyebrow, utterly confused.

“But you just said he was hot?”

“I mean yeah objectively speaking he’s cute as hell but I’m not personally interested in him. Jaemin, on the other hand, would probably lose his shit over him,” Donghyuck tells him amusedly. Mark simply nods, not having much else to say.

Donghyuck goes quiet and watches Mark for a while, considering his next words. When he finally speaks, it’s with a tentative voice.

“Does it make you uncomfortable? Me talking about this stuff?” he asks, straight to the point. He sounds confident but he’s not looking directly at the boy sitting right next to him. Mark panics immediately, not wanting the other to feel even the least bit insecure about openly talking to him.

“What? No no, of course not,” he reassures the other without hesitation but he knows he probably doesn’t sound all that convincing.

“It’s alright if it does. Just be honest about it,” Donghyuck tells him firmly, now looking him in the eyes. Mark holds his gaze. He thinks about it carefully before giving a truthful response.

“Sometimes I just won’t really know what to say. That’ll go with anything we talk about really. But I promise, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” he explains, hoping that his sincerity is coming through. But he can see that Donghyuck still doesn’t look satisfied, simply turning away in silence.

“Donghyuck,” he calls out just then, tone a little more serious. Donghyuck snaps his eyes up at that. “I mean it. You can talk to me about anything. I don’t want you to filter yourself around me. When I talk to you I want to be talking to the _you_ you. Don’t hide yourself from me,” he continues. He fixes his gaze on him, intent on making the other believe his words.

Donghyuck was looking a little bit like a baby owl again but Mark’s display of seriousness seems to work, as the red-haired boy eventually gives him a small smile and a nod of acknowledgement. He then scrunches his nose together.

“Yuck. You better not make a habit of saying sappy friendship shit like that,” he teases.

“No promises,” Mark admits. They share a short chuckle between them and the remaining tension in the room finally dissipates.

“So what’s the deal, is my best friend gonna have to convert a heterosexual? Because I have full faith that he could. It’d just be nice to warn him ahead of time, you know?” Donghyuck blurts out as he gets ready to start the game, wasting no time and adapting to the no filter rule immediately. Mark lets out a brief snort of disbelief--though he can’t really say he’s actually that surprised--before answering him.

“I don’t know, I don’t go around just asking people about things like that- wait hey, that’s cheating!” Mark squawks and dives for his controller as soon as he realizes that Donghyuck has already started the race.

“But he’s your roommate?” the other asks, ignoring his complaint, eyes glued to the screen in front of them.

“Yeah and he’s a super reserved guy. We don’t really talk all that much,” Mark informs him. Donghyuck just hums. “And even if he does happen to like guys, how do you even know they would work out anyways?” he adds.

“I told you, his sexuality is irrelevant. And because Jaemin is both gorgeous and has a charming personality, much like myself. I have high standards you know, I only befriend people of similar caliber,” Donghyuck answers with pride.

They both seem to realize the implications of his words at the same time and Mark pauses the game with a smirk but Haechan cuts in before he can even let out the first word.

“Don’t you dare try to use my own humor against me, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck looks at him pointedly in warning. Mark’s still grinning but he holds his hands up in surrender. Donghyuck squints his eyes at him briefly before resuming the game. It’s quiet for a few seconds until hell breaks loose.

“ _So you think I’m gorgeous and have a charming personality?_ ” Mark lets out in his best impersonation of Donghyuck, forcing his voice to be considerably higher. In the next second, his controller is grabbed from his hands and thrown on the other side of the bed and Donghyuck pushes him away with his feet. He yelps in protest, laughing as he holds one of Donghyuck’s legs away from himself as he reaches for his controller again.

“You’re an idiot, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck tells him as he yanks his foot away from his grasp. It seems like he’s trying to make a display of annoyance but he’s smiling from ear to ear.

“Don’t dish out what you can’t handle,” Mark retorts. Donghyuck wins the race just then, unsurprisingly. He turns to him with a smug grin and sticks his tongue out like a petulant child. Mark resists the urge to ruffle his hair.

They continue playing for the next half hour, Donghyuck following through with his words and kicking Mark’s ass in every single one of them--and without dirty tactics. They end up just talking for much longer after they put the console away. Mark prattles on about mermaids and how he’s convinced that they must be real. Donghyuck laughs at him and calls him a child. They talk about their favorite music, in which Donghyuck professes his undying love for Michael Jackson, evident by the number of posters Mark remembers seeing in his room. He gets up to show off his impeccable impersonations of the late king of pop. Mark amusedly falls down on the bed, feeling stitches on his sides.

The two boys spend the rest of the afternoon like that, getting to know each other bit by bit and learning to find comfort in each other’s company.

Donghyuck had already left and the sun had set hours ago when Mark hears a knock on the door. He gets up from his desk with a smile, expecting to see Donghyuck back to pester him for the rest of the night as well. He isn’t able to hide the surprise in his face when he opens the door and is greeted by the sight of his roommate.

“Oh, hey Jeno,” he greets the boy rather shyly before stepping aside to let him in. He wonders to himself why his roommate had bothered to knock on the door to his own room. When Jeno walks in, Mark doesn’t miss the glance that he sends towards his bed. Though he realizes pretty quickly that the other hadn’t meant to be sneaky about it.

“Where’d the cute red-head go?” Jeno asks nonchalantly. Mark just blinks at him at first, his mind getting stuck on the word ‘cute’ for a few seconds too long.

“Oh um, Donghyuck?” he eventually manages to let out. Jeno nods once.

“He left like hours ago,” Mark tells him. Jeno hums to himself in response before finally turning away towards his side of the room.

Mark has always been a bit of a ditz. And maybe he’s kind of of clumsy and forgetful but one thing he knows he’s not is completely oblivious. It doesn’t take him long to piece together his roommate’s odd behavior. Leaving him alone with Donghyuck, knocking before walking into his own room, being surprised to not see the red-haired boy still there when he gets back.

“Donghyuck and I are friends,” Mark finds himself announcing. Jeno turns to him from his desk. If he notices the very prominent blush on Mark’s cheeks, he doesn’t mention it.

“Okay,” is all he says. He gives the other a quick smile before he turns back to his laptop and starts typing on his keyboard.

Mark returns to his own desk. For the rest of the night, he tries to focus on his school work. He succeeds for the most part, aside from the fleeting image in his head. Of nine little black dots spread out along glowing, tan skin.

 

\----------

 

“Jeno thinks you’re cute.”

They’re out in the courtyard, eating lunch under the shade and comfort of an old oak tree. Mark hadn’t intended on telling the other about the comment made in passing but before he knows it, he’s blurting out the words.

Donghyuck stops sipping from his juice box for a second to look at him and process the newly attained information. Mark had kind of expected him to just scoff and say something along the lines of ‘duh, of course he does’ but instead, Donghyuck gapes at him, legitimately surprised.

“That’s sweet,” is all he says after a while. He goes back to drinking his juice. Mark watches him with some anxiousness, waiting for a follow-up. He doesn’t know why he’s even feeling nervous.

“Good to know that he’s into guys. But like I said, not my type,” Donghyuck states. He places down the now empty carton and picks up his lunch box. He pops a piece of kimchi in his mouth, humming enthusiastically to himself afterwards.

“What is your type?” Mark asks just then, eyeing him carefully.

Evidently, Donghyuck hadn’t been expecting the question, abruptly pausing mid-chew to send Mark a blank look. Mark was starting to think that he’s looking at a still image of Donghyuck until the other slowly starts chewing again, eyes focusing back on his meal. He swallows, taking his time with the small task.

“Really tall. Skinny but lean. Blonde. Big ears,” Donghyuck starts listing off traits left and right.

“An elf. You’re describing an elf. From like, Lord of the Rings.” It’s the first thing that Mark thinks of upon hearing the set of descriptions. Donghyuck laughs, all airy like he does when he’s genuinely amused by something. Mark thinks it’s silly but he swells with a little bit of pride. He promptly makes the decision that he wants to make Donghyuck laugh like that as much as he can.

“Well I guess that explains why I’ve stayed single all my life. I’m pining after mythical beings,” Donghyuck jests.

“Whoa what, really? You’ve never dated anyone before?”

“Uh yes, really. Why are you so shocked?”

_Because you seem like the type of person that anyone can easily fall for._

Mark’s thankful beyond belief that his brain-to-mouth filter had chosen to work in this particular moment. The thought of him blurting that out to the other made his cheeks feel warm.

“I dunno. Just wasn’t expecting it,” he murmurs with a shrug, hoping for Donghyuck to drop the subject and not press on about it. To his luck, he kind of does.

“What about you? Have you had so many girlfriends that you can’t even fathom the idea of anyone being single for 17 years?” Donghyuck teases with his typical sarcastic tone.

“Shut up, no I haven’t,” Mark tells him weakly, making the red-haired boy chuckle. Seemingly out of nowhere, Mark perks up, recalling the rest of the words that Donghyuck had spilled. “Wait you’re 17?”

“Yes. I am,” Donghyuck answers pointedly. Mark’s opening his mouth to say something but Donghyuck cuts him off right away. “No, I’m not gonna call you hyung,” he firmly tells the other.

Mark pouts, like an actual child denied the permission to open a Christmas present early.

Donghyuck simply snorts as he throws his empty juice box at the sulking boy’s feet, who then kicks the object away. Mark rolls his eyes when Donghyuck gasps dramatically and accuses him of _‘soiling the pristine grounds of their holy campus.’_ Mark gets up to retrieve the trash and properly dispose of it. Behind him, he hears Donghyuck coo and resists the urge to throw the item back at the red-haired brat. He tosses the box and walks back to his friend under the oak tree.   

Later that night, Mark finds himself standing in front of his mirror, looking up at the black mop of hair on top of his head. He touches his ear, pulling it forward slightly to the front.

“Do my ears look big?” he asks his roommate when he steps out of their shared bathroom. Jeno looks up from the book he’s reading and pauses, caught off guard by the completely random question.

“Uhhh. No. No it doesn’t,” he answers with a small smile. The boy did in fact have comically large ears but thinking that the other was being self conscious about them, Jeno tells him otherwise. So he’s entirely confused when Mark just nods with a slightly disappointed expression and walks quietly back to his side of the room.

Jeno wonders if his roommate’s odd behavior has anything to do with a certain red-haired male. He smiles to himself, knowing the likely answer.

 

\----------

 

“Hand.”

Mark stops writing on the piece of paper in front of him. He and Donghyuck had decided to be productive together for once and work on their chemistry homework. More accurately, _Mark_ had suggested the study session and had to bribe Donghyuck with pastries in order to get him to cooperate. They had been sitting on Donghyuck’s bed, working quietly next to each other for about ten minutes until Donghyuck spoke out and broke the silence.

It makes Mark look to his right, at the source of the sudden, stern command. Donghyuck’s right hand was currently massaging his own temples while his left is splayed out to the side. Mark briefly stares at the open palm, then at the apparent frustration on Donghyuck’s face, puts two and two together, and doesn’t hesitate to place his own hand on top of the other’s.

He notes to himself that Donghyuck’s hand is as warm and soft as he thought it would be.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Donghyuck to jolt the second he feels the weight of Mark’s hand on his. He reels his hand back and holds it to his chest protectively, looking at him with wide eyes. Before Mark can even think of what to say, Donghyuck is already talking in rapid fire bursts.

“Shit. I’m sorry, that was just- It’s a habit. I used to have Jaemin hold my hand when I was stressed and I was just getting so annoyed by this stupid, _stupid_ assignment and I just- fuck, forget that I even-”

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay Donghyuck. Come on, let’s put our things down for a second and take a little break, yeah?” Mark speaks to him calmly. He places his notebook to his side and reaches to do the same for Donghyuck.

The two sit in silence for a while, Mark giving Donghyuck time to relax on his own. Donghyuck closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. When he opens them, he shakes his head vigorously side to side and pats his face lightly a few times.

“Alright, I’m fine. I’m fine. Let’s just finish this shit.”

“You sure you’re good?” Mark asks, eyeing him cautiously. Donghyuck gives him two quick nods. He picks up his notebook and sets it back on his lap, getting right back to work. Mark slowly goes to do the same and they continue to work in silence for the next five minutes.

But when Mark steals a glance next to him, he sees Donghyuck furrowing his brows and clutching his notebook tightly, his jaws clenched. Mark lets out a small sigh. He puts his notebook and pen back down and reaches for one of his textbooks. When he gets to the desired page, he silently brings his right hand out and lays it down on the mattress, palm up and away from his own body. Donghyuck was too entrenched in his own work to notice so Mark lets out an awkward cough. He succeeds in gaining the boy’s attention, noticing Donghyuck look towards him from his peripheral.

Donghyuck searches the boy’s face before his eyes trail lower and land on the open palm right next to him. The room somehow gets even quieter and Mark can feel the other’s hard gaze on him. With his eyes still on the words in front of him, he inches his hands closer to Donghyuck, praying that the other finally understands his intentions. Finally, he hears the red-haired boy let out a small gasp.

“Mark, I was just-” Donghyuck starts before immediately stopping himself short. And in a smaller voice, “you don’t have to.”

Mark looks up from his textbook at that. When he sees the other boy staring down at his own fidgeting hands, something inside him snaps and for once in his life, he loses patience. With a gruff exhale, he reaches out and takes Donghyuck’s hand into his, intertwining their fingers with ease. Donghyuck makes a sound not unlike a squeak.

“What- what are you-”

“Donghyuck, it’s fine,” Mark cuts off the beginnings of the boy’s rambling with his gentle words. “I don’t mind,” he tells him with a soft smile, giving Donghyuck’s hand a gentle squeeze in added reassurance. Donghyuck’s quiet, just staring at their interlocked hands.

“You’re right-handed,” Donghyuck utters flatly after a while.

“I have reading to do for my other classes,” he counters as he turns a page with his free, less dominant hand, eyes focused back on his own textbook. Mark assumes the exchange of words are finally over when he sees the other begin to write on his notebook again.

“You’re an idiot, Mark Lee.”

“Hey-” Mark’s complaints get stuck in his throat as soon as he sees the reddening tips of Donghyuck’s ear. He jolts his head back to face his own lap, feeling a similar warmth spread throughout his cheeks. Like that, the two settle back into silence as they force themselves to focus on their own work.

Once in a while, Mark would feel Donghyuck’s grip tighten in his hold and he would naturally rub his thumb gently across the back of the other boy’s hand, wordlessly comforting him.

When the room starts to get dark enough to require the lights to be turned on, they agree to end their long, arduous study session. They’ve both set aside their school items but neither of them make a move to pull away from the other’s hold. Donghyuck’s the first to speak after the long period of silence.

“Thanks,” he simply says, clearly wanting to show his gratitude but unable to look into Mark’s eyes. Mark smiles at him anyways. Finally, Donghyuck untangles his hand away, immediately bringing his freed arms out in front of him for a long overdue stretch.

“Christ, I haven’t been that productive since...ever. You’re a terrible influence,” Donghyuck proclaims.

“You’re welcome,” Mark amusedly responds. Donghyuck makes a mocking display of his words, for which he receives a playful shove. They exchange a few words, each sharing their similar dislike for the science, Donghyuck being particularly vindictive in comparison to Mark.

“Well, to properly balance things out--as I should--I’m gonna spend the rest of the night doing fuck all,” Donghyuck announces with a smug grin. “You?” he regards the other.

“I’m gonna go eat dinner. I’m almost done with my reading so I’ll probably finish the last few pages later tonight,” Mark answers and Donghyuck responds with a scoff.

“Your diligence disgusts me. Be irresponsible for once.”

“See, _you’re_ the terrible influence,” Mark says, pointing at him accusedly.

“All the best people are,” Donghyuck retorts with a wink. Mark shakes his head with a chuckle. He scoots to the edge of the bed and stands up. Wordlessly, he stuffs his backpack with the materials sprawled out on the bed. When he’s done, he hauls the relatively heavy load on his back and walks towards the door. He turns around after cracking the door open.

“Goodnight, Donghyuck,” Mark calls out to the boy on the bed.

“Get out of my room, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck harshly replies but he’s got a fond smile on his face. Mark laughs as he walks out and shuts the door behind him. As the laughter dies down, instead of immediately walking away, he pauses right outside of Donghyuck’s room.

He glances at his right hand, recalling the undoubtedly pleasant feeling of the soft hands in his. His heartbeat picks up and he thinks maybe he’s sensing the beginnings of something stirring in him--something potentially earth-shattering and serious. But for now, he elects to bury the thoughts away, not quite ready to dwell on them. He smiles to himself, focusing instead on the excitement from the thought of spending another day with Donghyuck.

 

\---------

 

For some reason, Mark had expected to make a habit out of holding Donghyuck’s hand.

So when he reaches out for Donghyuck’s closed fist the next time he notices the other on edge and Donghyuck just gently pulls away, he feels his chest constrict just the tiniest bit. He searches the boy’s face in worry but Donghyuck just gives him a small smile, uncharacteristically shy as he tells him in a quiet voice that it’s okay, he’s okay.

Mark’s confused and a little hurt but he parrots a small okay and forces himself to return the smile.

The next day, Donghyuck goes right back to being his usual annoying, sarcastic self. And really, Mark can’t be anything but happy about that. Even if he sits a little farther away than usual and seemingly avoids any point of contact with Mark. He’s still there next to him, laughing at his lame attempts at jokes and teasing him when he trips on nothing but his own two feet. And for now, that’s more than enough for Mark.

 

\---------

 

“Oh my god,” Donghyuck calls out in alarm, pointing towards Mark’s desk.

“What? What’s wrong, what happened?” Mark immediately starts frantically looking around for the source of his friend’s sudden outburst, praying that it wasn’t because of a tiny creepy, crawling creature of sorts. Donghyuck ignores his flustered reaction, hauling himself up from his comfortable position in the bed to stomp towards the desk. When he gets there, he snatches up a rectangular device and holds it up on display. Mark isn’t sure why the other was looking ready to scold him.

“You have a phone,” Donghyuck states evenly.

“Um. It’s the 21st century, yes I have a phone,” Mark sasses. Donghyuck squints his eyes at him in warning.

“Unbelievable,” he simply says before walking back towards the bed in front of Mark. He lifts the phone up to the other’s face. “Unlock it,” he demands. Mark thinks to ask what for but the look of impatience on Donghyuck’s face stops him. With a sigh, he takes the device in his hands and enters his password. The second he finishes typing the last digit, Donghyuck snatches the phone back up, immediately getting busy with something.

“What are you doing?” Mark asks, leaning over to take a peek at his own phone’s screen. Donghyuck finishes whatever he was doing just then, tossing the phone on the bed and returning to his previous position.

“There, now we have each other’s number,” Donghyuck exclaims as he sets himself down next to Mark, regaining his leisure attitude. Mark blinks dumbly for a while, taking time to process the apparent cause of the sudden outburst.  

“We literally live one floor away from each other,” he reminds the red-haired boy.

“Yeah but I’m a lazy ass and sometimes I won’t want to come up to talk to you.”

“Then I’ll go down to you.”

At that, Donghyuck snaps his eyes to Mark. The pause lasts for no more than a few seconds and then he’s letting out a scoff. He briefly scolds the other, claiming that texting has its own charm and that it’s absolutely necessary for a budding friendship. Mark nods, not really understanding the sentiment but he goes along with whatever Donghyuck is saying anyways.

It’s later that night when Mark learns to accept Donghyuck’s opinions.

He’s getting ready for bed when he hears a phone let out a short ding. It takes him a while to even register that it was his own phone and not Jeno’s, since he’s so used to hearing nothing but silence from the device. When the tone goes off for a second time minutes later, he finally notices that it sounds too close to be coming from Jeno’s phone across the room. He reaches for the device on his desk, unlocking it mindlessly. Before he can even read the two new messages, he gapes at the name of the saved contact for a good second. 

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _Yo Mark Lee. I’m bored._
> 
> _Tell me more about why you think_
> 
> _mermaids are real. Enlighten me_
> 
> _with your stupidity._
> 
>  
> 
> _Wtf don’t ignore me._

 

Mark lets out an amused chuckle, imagining the pout on the red-haired boy’s face. He’s about to start typing a response when he receives another message, this time with an attached image. It was a picture of Donghyuck’s face, sporting the exact pout Mark had imagined just a second ago captioned appropriately with _“see, now I’m sad don’t ignore meeee_ . _”_

Mark is smiling from ear to ear.

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _Oh sorry, I didn’t realize it was_
> 
> _my phone going off._
> 
> _Wow you really don’t use your phone_
> 
> _much, do you? When was the last time_
> 
> _you sent a message to someone?_
> 
>  
> 
> _A month ago. I said “cool” to my_
> 
> _cousin. He said he joined a dance_
> 
> _team in his university._  
> 
> _Amazing. Now I know to expect_
> 
> _nothing but lackluster responses from you._
> 
>  
> 
> _I actually thought it was cool though!_
> 
>  
> 
> _Sweetie, one word responses are the_
> 
> _universal way of telling someone_
> 
> _‘screw off I don’t want to talk to you.’_
> 
> _What? Oh god did I make Taeyong hyung_
> 
> _upset?? I really didn’t mean to._
> 
> _Lmao he probably hates you._
> 
> _:(_
> 
> _Oh my god you don’t even use_
> 
> _emojis. You’re really that ancient._
> 
> _What’s wrong with this sad face? :(_
> 
> _It’s a perfectly adequate sad face._
> 
> _You’re so simple-minded it’s_
> 
> _actually endearing._
> 
> _:( :( :(_  
> 
> _Take a sad boy selfie. Maybe then_
> 
> _I’ll consider feeling bad for bullying_
> 
> _your grandpa ass._

 

Mark pauses at that. He nervously flits his eyes to his roommate who was in his bed, busily typing on his laptop, not paying him the slightest bit of attention. He bites his lip, actually considering the ridiculous request.

Technically speaking, he can just tell Donghyuck he doesn’t want to. But he finds that he actually _can’t_ do that. Just thinking about denying the other’s request makes him feel guilty for some reason. In a situation where he can either potentially cause Donghyuck even the slightest bit of disappointment, or very certainly embarrass himself but make Donghyuck smile even just a little, he thinks the latter might always be the better scenario. So he gets up to go to the bathroom, phone in hand and fully prepared to make a fool out of himself.

Once he’s inside, he stands in front of the mirror, fidgeting in his spot for a while. He hesitantly holds his phone up in front of the reflective glass. Not knowing what to do with his other hand, he stuffs it inside his shorts’ pocket. With a tight lipped frown, he quickly looks into the reflection of the camera and snaps the picture, figuring it best to just get it over with. The artificial sound of a camera shutter echoes loudly and he’s sure his roommate hears it even through the closed door. He curses to himself as he stumbles to silence his phone, even though he knew it was already too late. Face warming up in embarrassment, he decides to send the photo without even looking at it. He opens the door with a quick movement and storms out, eyes fixated on his bed only and entirely avoiding contact with Jeno.

When he gets to the safety of his bed, he lies down and turns toward the wall. He holds his phone in front of his face. Donghyuck hadn’t sent a reply yet. Mark was in the middle of typing out pleas for the other to ignore and delete the photo after all when he gets bombarded with frantic messages one after another.

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _MARK LEE YOU DID NOT_
> 
>  
> 
> _OH MY GOD I’M ACTUALLY DYING_
> 
>  
> 
> _LITERALLY DEAD AS I TYPE_
> 
>  
> 
> _911 I’M IN NEED_
> 
>  
> 
> __
> 
>  
> 
> _What?? Why are you dying??_
> 
> _And why are you typing in all caps??_
> 
> _BECAUSE IT’S 2018 AND YOU JUST_
> 
> _SENT ME A BATHROOM MIRROR SELFIE_
> 
> _USING YOUR REAR-FACING CAMERA_
> 
> _YOU ABSOLUTE GIGANTIC DORK_
> 
> _You said you would stop picking_
> 
> _on me if I sent you a photo :(_
> 
> _Lolwut no I didn’t, I said I’d consider feeling_
> 
> _bad about it._
> 
> _But fine I’ll stop anyways._
> 
> _Fuck I’m still laughing tho. You just_
> 
> _made my entire year, congrats._
> 
> _Well at least I could put a smile_
> 
> _on your face, I guess._  
> 
> _My cheeks are literally in pain from_
> 
> _being stretched so wide. Please_
> 
> _try not to make a habit out of it._
> 
> _Maybe I will. Think of it as_
> 
> _your punishment._
> 
> _Kinky._
> 
> _You’re the worst._  
> 
> _Yet you’re still friends with me._
> 
> _For now._

 

Mark briefly sits up, maneuvering to get his blanket from under him so he can warm up under it. When he’s settled and looks at his phone again, he sees that Donghyuck sent him the same pouting selfie from a while ago. He chuckles in amusement.

 

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _Well fine then, I’ll just go._
> 
>  
> 
> _But seriously tho, I’m kinda sleepy._
> 
>  
> 
> _Feel free to set that photo as_
> 
> _your wallpaper. I know you_
> 
> _think I’m cute._
> 
> _Goodnight, Donghyuck._  
> 
> _Night, night Mark Lee_

 

Mark goes to type something but chooses not to, ending their conversation.

Instead of locking his phone and going to bed like he should, he scrolls up through the history of his messages. When he sees Donghyuck’s face, he smiles. This time, he takes the time to carefully look at the image of the red-haired boy. Immediately, he’s drawn to the boy’s protruding bottom lip. Mark stares at it, fascinated by its unbelievably plush shape. Eventually, he tears his gaze away from it and takes in the picture as a whole.

There’s something about the look of innocence on Donghyuck’s face. And combined with the knowledge that he’s actually the spawn of satan, it strikes a chord in Mark’s heart. He reads over the messages below the image. He muddles through the decision before ultimately turning his body around and sitting up.

“Hey Jeno?” he calls out tentatively to the boy across the room.

“Hm?”

“Do you know how to change the wallpaper on a smartphone?” Mark asks sheepishly, hand rubbing awkwardly on his nape. Jeno just gives him his usual smile.

“Yeah sure. You need help?”

Mark nods once. He stands up from the bed and pads over to Jeno’s side of the room. He unlocks his phone and hands it over to his roommate right away. When Jeno sees the screen, he smiles to himself. He turns the phone to face Mark.

“This photo?” he asks, masking his amusement but only by a little.

Mark entirely flushes, forgetting that he had just been looking at Donghyuck’s picture when he locked his phone, so of course it would be the first thing on his screen when unlocked. At first, he thinks to come up with some excuse but he’d really rather not look even more pathetic than he already does so he just nods in acceptance, looking anywhere but at the boy in front of him.

Thankfully, Jeno doesn’t say anymore about it. He does as he’s requested in silence and simply hands the phone back to Mark with a genuine, non-teasing smile.

“Um, thanks,” Mark utters before immediately turning around on his heels before Jeno can even respond.

“No problem,” he hears the other call out from behind him. He tells himself he’s imagining the teasing lilt in the boy’s tone.

Back in the comfort of his own bed, he stares at the image of Donghyuck right in front of him. Jeno had set the image as both his home screen and lock screen. Donghyuck wouldn’t even need to unlock his phone to see his own picture creepily plastered on Mark’s phone. Granted, Donghyuck _was_ the one that even gave Mark the idea, but he knows that the other was actually probably just joking. He imagines the look of horror that would appear on Donghyuck’s face. Mark groans at the thought, willing it away.

Before coming down to Donghyuck’s room the next day, Mark shoves his phone inside his desk drawer and tells him that he had accidentally broken it. And an entire week passes by, letting Mark easily forget about the matter. He wasn’t kidding when he said he rarely used his phone, aside from the occasional call to his mother. So having it out of his sight for a few days was enough for his memory of it to be completely purged from his mind.

When he’s finally reminded of its existence, it’s by the exact same person that had caused him to exile the damned piece of technology in the first place.

Donghyuck’s over at Mark’s dorm room for another study session. And Jeno’s nowhere to be found again. Mark frowned when he first saw the boy packing up his things, minutes after Donghyuck walks into their shared room. He thinks that Jeno either forgot _[_ _Donghyuck and I are friends._ _]_ or he very clearly remembered but doesn’t believe him. The latter would be much worse but for some reason, he can tell it’s the more likely explanation of the two. He only hopes that Donghyuck hasn’t caught on to his roommate’s behavior. Though in all honesty, the likelihood of that is pretty low, given how perceptive the boy seemingly is.

Too caught up in his own head, he simply mumbles a quick hum of approval when Donghyuck asks to borrow some lead, absentmindedly pointing to his desk drawer where he keeps extra school supplies. He hears a brief scoff and a call of _‘nerd’_ but ignores it. He isn’t pulled away from his thoughts until he hears Donghyuck’s cheery giggle. He looks up at the unexpected sound. When he sees what the boy had in his hands, Mark physically pales.

“You know, you continue to amaze me with your technological incompetence,” Donghyuck lets out after an amused sigh. He takes the device with him when he walks back to the bed. Mark’s still just staring at him, too petrified to even try to wrestle the thing out of the other’s hands. He silently watches the red-haired boy dig through his backpack.

“Your phone isn’t broken you doyhead, it’s just out of battery,” Donghyuck informs him, letting out an overexcited _‘aha!’_ as he fishes out a cord from his backpack.

Mark wishes he had actually broken his phone. He could’ve easily thrown the cursed thing out the window, but _no_ that would have been way too convenient.

“Uh, you okay Mark? Didn’t even think it was possible for your skin to be any whiter but you’re literally the color of a bleached bedsheet,” Donghyuck calls out just then, not failing to throw a jab even when he’s supposed to be checking up on him concernedly.

Mark snaps his eyes to Donghyuck, who was looking at him like he was preparing for him to pass out any second. He looks to his side, at the phone that was currently connected to Donghyuck’s laptop. Charging. He sees the blinking battery icon, and he swears it’s mocking him.

“I’m fine,” Mark manages to let out, his voice sounding only slightly strained. He decides it’s best to act calm and not rouse suspicion. But regardless, he has never been the best at hiding his feelings so he’s barely able to prevent Donghyuck’s interrogation.

Mark presents the smallest hint of a smile to the red-haired boy, even giving him a short thanks. Then he immediately pretends to go back to work, praying for the other to just do the same. He can see Donghyuck still carefully watching him from his peripheral. His heart is pounding and he swears the overworked muscle was just about to give out when he notices Donghyuck finally look away with a dismissive shrug before returning his attention to his laptop. He mentally breathes out a sigh of relief. The moment of serenity doesn’t last long, as he immediately starts planning out how to tackle the very serious problem at hand.  

He goes through at least four possible scenarios in his head before he realizes how stupid he’s being. It’s his phone, he _can_ just reach out for it and grab it. So he goes to do just that, thinking he can finally step into the safety zone.

“Oh hey it’s powering up.”

Mark feels at least ten years of his life shaved off by those five simple words. He watches in horror as Donghyuck takes the phone in his hand, eyes locked on the screen. He’s about to start stumbling through a slew of unintelligible excuses when Donghyuck simply looks up and hands him the device, still connected to his laptop.

Confused, he reaches out slowly and takes his phone into his hand. He has to stop himself from actually letting out an exhale when he sees the screen, asking for a password and entirely blurring out Donghyuck’s pouting face. He almost smashes the power button, disconnecting it from the other’s laptop and promptly shoving it as deep as he can into his jacket pocket. He can’t help the victorious grin that forces itself onto his face.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

Mark is too busy gloating to notice Donghyuck eyeing him intently with furrowed brows.

“Mark Lee are you on drugs?” he hears the other ask incredulously. The smirk is wiped clean from his face when he finally looks up to see Donghyuck, who definitely seemed ready to start throwing a hurl of questions.

Shit.

“Uhhhh no. I’m not on drugs.” It comes out cleanly because duh, of course he isn’t on drugs. He thinks it’s enough to steer the other away but Donghyuck is still staring at him and his eyebrows are still furrowed. And Mark has the fakest smile possible plastered on his face. He watches Donghyuck and he can almost hear the gears in his head turning a little too fast like it always does. All of a sudden, Mark sees the other’s face relax. He isn’t sure why that only works to unsettle him even more but he gets an answer pretty quickly.

“Can I see your phone real quick?” Donghyuck asks sweetly just then, adorning his own--objectively more convincing--expression of false niecety. When Mark’s first reaction is to reach into his pocket and clutch the device defensively with tightened lips, the battle’s already lost. His non-verbal but clear refusal to comply is taken as a challenge if the amused sparkle in Donghyuck’s eyes is anything to go by. Mark thinks it’s the most terrifying thing he’s ever seen.

“Hmmm, correct me if I’m wrong but you seem like the type of person that’s really ticklish,” Donghyuck muses with a sly grin, drumming his fingers repeatedly on his knee. Mark visibly tenses. If Donghyuck was trying to make himself look intimidating, he was succeeding with flying colors.  

Mark doesn’t waste a second as he shoots up to run and confine himself in the safety of his bathroom. But Donghyuck’s too fast, he’s always too fast, arm immediately shooting up to catch him by the back of his shirt. The sudden pulling force makes him fall back onto his bed and he hasn’t even let out his next breath but Donghyuck’s already planted himself on top of him. He’s about to fling the boy off when he feels the torturous fingers set in. He’s horrified but he can’t help himself from bursting out in laughter, trying--and failing--to pry the slender hands away from his sides. In the brief moment that he’s able to crack his eyes open, he sees Donghyuck’s face hovering above him, corners of his lips stretched from ear to ear, his nose scrunched tightly as he laughs alongside him.

Mark knows he’s always had an odd reverence for the boy’s appearance. And this, he thinks, is the brightest he’s ever seen Donghyuck shine.  

The site is enough for Mark to suddenly cease his struggling. Donghyuck quickly responds, fingers going still. He’s still smiling down at Mark when he speaks up, albeit more smugly.

“Finally admitting defeat?” Donghyuck teases. Mark can’t even be bothered to stop him as he reaches into his jacket pocket, successfully fishing out the prized possession.

“You should know that I have a very strict ‘no secrets’ friendship policy so you better unlock your phone and show me whatever the hell it is you’re-”

The flow of words come to an abrupt halt the second Donghyuck presses the power button and sees his own self looking back at him. Below him, Mark searches his empty expression, which lasts for a solid two seconds before he grumbles, bringing both of his hands up to cover his face.

“This is so embarrassing. End me,” Mark mumbles into the palm of his own hands, feeling the last fuck he could give float away into the abyss. There’s nothing but silence above him, which just makes him groan some more. He wallows in self-pity and he was prepared to keep at it for the rest of his foreseeable future until he feels a soft hand gently wrap around his wrist. The moment he feels the force of the pull, he smushes his hands to his face even more, refusing to show himself. He hears a small breath of sigh from above.

“Move your hands or I’m going to start tickling you again,” Donghyuck warns him, straight to the point. Mark’s hands instinctively move to follow and when he does, the first thing he’s greeted by is an obnoxiously bright flash of light. He blinks at the brief disorientation it causes him. By the time he regains normal vision, Donghyuck is holding his own phone out in front of his face. He finds himself staring at his own owlish expression.

“Your stupidity is contagious,” is all Donghyuck says as he lifts a leg and frees the boy under him. Mark watches him silently, still lying on his back. He notices the faint tint of pink on the boy’s cheeks.  

“Did you just…” Mark starts, pointing a finger to his own chest, then to Donghyuck’s phone. His mind is still trying to catch up on the last five minutes.

“What? You started it.” Donghyuck retorts defensively, face still a little flushed. Mark doesn’t say anything to that because well, he actually did. He hums as he turns to stare at the white expanse of his room’s ceiling. In the brief silence, Mark feels himself finally unwind. He turns to face Donghyuck. Suddenly, everything’s a lot simpler.

“Can you like, change the photo though?” Mark asks. Donghyuck’s placed his notebook back on his lap at this point.

“Nope. I like this one,” he responds without looking up from his notebook.

“But I look stupid.”

“Exactly why it’s perfect.” Donghyuck sends him his infamous devilish grin. Mark almost whines.

“That’s not fair, yours is so cu-” he manages to stop himself from completing the sentence but Donghyuck receives his message loud and clear. He has that familiar look of shock on his face for a split second before he’s sending another smug smirk.  

_[ I know you think I’m cute. ]_

“One word and I’m kicking you out,” Mark warns, unaware that Donghyuck finds him about as threatening as a ladybug. Nonetheless, the other complies with an amused, close-mouthed smile, hands raised in surrender.

Later that night, when Donghyuck leaves him with a light, playful punch on his chest, eyes casting him a softer gaze than usual, Mark feels warmth linger on the spot. As he’s drifting off into sleep, he recalls how Donghyuck had looked, hovering above him in unabashed laughter.

It sets a forest fire alight in Mark’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @pseudoserendpt


	3. clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little angst but the fluff is still extra fluffy I promise

Two weeks pass by and Mark still has Donghyuck saved as his phone’s wallpaper. During that time, he made sneaky attempts to check Donghyuck’s phone every once in a while to see if the other had replaced his photo. And he smiled triumphantly every time he saw that the boy in fact hadn’t.  

Two weeks pass by and Mark still feels the glowing embers settling in his chest, occasionally being lit back up to a full blaze by a raucous laugh or even just a small smile from Donghyuck.

Mark finds himself wanting to see the boy more and more even though it wasn’t really possible since they’ve already established a routine of hanging out in each other’s rooms literally every day.

So when Donghyuck leaves early that afternoon, saying that he had made plans to video chat Jaemin for the night, Mark can’t help the disappointment that surges through him. But it doesn’t even last long because he sees how bouncy and bubbly Donghyuck becomes, telling him that Jaemin supposedly had an exciting announcement to tell him. As he rambles on about multiple possibilities of what the news could be about, each theory getting more and more ridiculous than the previous one, Mark can only watch him with a soft smile. Donghyuck’s happiness has always managed to rub off on him easily.

Just before he opens the door to leave, Donghyuck gives him a quick hug, too quick to even let Mark snap out of his daze and return the highly unexpected but very welcome embrace. Donghyuck flashes him a breathtaking smile and says his goodbye. Mark watches him walk down the hallway with a slight bounce to his step. Meanwhile he’s still a little winded from the consecutive attacks that was just thrown at him.

Mark lies in bed that night, wishing that he didn’t have the reaction time of a snail. He tells himself it was a missed chance, that the boy had just done it out of over excitement and would likely punch him if he ever tried to initiate it himself in the future. Regret instantly pools in his stomach. He looks at his hands and he wonders what it would feel like to have Donghyuck in his arms.

Unbeknownst to him, he would find out that very same night. Although given the reasoning for it, he would have much rathered it happen on a different day, under different circumstances.

The thing is, Mark has always been an unusually light sleeper--he’s forever thankful that his roommate doesn’t snore or toss and turn in his bed too much. When his phone goes off with two consecutive dings in the middle of the night, he automatically stirs from his bed. Given any other day, he would have just ignored it and gone back to sleep. But something compels him to break out of the norm (he has a pretty good idea who the sender of the text is). He reaches groggily for the device next to his head. With bleary eyes, he reads the new messages displayed on the screen.

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _Hey._
> 
>  
> 
> _If you’re awake, can you come_
> 
> _down to my room? If it’s not_
> 
> _too much of a bother._

 

Mark is immediately woken up by the cryptic message, far too serious sounding for the cheery boy he’s gotten so used to. Not to mention that it was two in the freaking morning and Donghyuck would definitely not be calling him over for no good reason.

The decision is made in an instant. Mark types a quick _be right there_ before carefully making his way to his cabinet and slotting his legs through a pair of shorts. Just before he walks out, he throws on the jacket hanging on his chair and zips it up all the way. He moves as quietly as he can, carefully turning the door knob and slipping out into the hallway. He knows the night patrols were done hours ago but he still picks up his feet to avoid making a sound anyways.

When he finds himself in front of the familiar door, he has to resist the urge to knock and goes to turn the handle directly instead. He’s relieved to find it unlocked already. To preface the other about his arrival as best as he can, he cracks open the door slowly, waits for a few seconds, and then carefully pokes his head in.

The room is dark of course, so he’s barely able to make out the small figure huddled in the bed in the corner of the room.

“Hey,” he calls out in a whisper. Donghyuck silently waves him in so he follows, carefully shutting the door behind him. He still doesn’t know what’s going on so when he walks up to the bed, he stands awkwardly in his spot, awaiting a signal of some sort of what he should do.

Donghyuck has his head down when he gently pats the empty space to his right. Mark only hesitates for a second before crawling into the bed and planting himself exactly where Donghyuck’s hand had touched, leaving only a breadth of an inch between them. He can feel the heat emanating from the boy next to him. He steals a quick glance to his left and sees the other’s head still hanging low, gaze trained on his own lap.

They sit in nothing but silence at first, neither of them making a move to speak up. Mark decides to wait for Donghyuck to clear the air. He had expected the other to start with an insult of some sort to diffuse the tension so when he instead hears the boy start to sniffle, he panics. Because Donghyuck should never have to cry. He should never ever have to be hurting.

Mark’s immediate reaction is to reach out to the clenched fists next to him but he stops himself, not wanting to possibly upset him even more. But he figures there’s at least no harm in asking.

“Is it okay if I hold your hand?” It’s the first set of words that’s uttered between them. Mark doesn’t even have time to get anxious about Donghyuck’s reaction as the boy immediately nods, wiping away tears with his left hand. Not wasting another second, Mark slots his hand in place with the one in Donghyuck’s lap, rubbing repeated, smooth circles on the back of it with his thumb. Next to him, he can hear the boy’s restrained, quiet cries. In a bold move, he lifts their tightly woven fingers together, placing them on top of his own lap. He takes his other hand and wraps it around their joined hands.

Mark looks over to search Donghyuck’s face. He’s biting his bottom lip, trying to keep it from trembling.

“Hey,” he calls out even though they’re right next to each other. “You don’t have to hold it in, Donghyuck. I’m here for you, whatever it is you’re going through,” Mark reminds him in his gentle voice. “I’ll always be here for you,” he adds, knowing that he means every word of it.

And with that, Donghyuck tears down the barrier he’s been holding up between them.

He lets out an unrestrained sob, the sound suddenly ripping through the silence. At the same time, he prys his hand away from Mark’s secure hold, only to bury his face into his friend’s neck in the next second. His hands then come up to clutch onto Mark’s jacket. And he’s crying out in full now, grip tightening on Mark’s chest as the sobs violently wrack through his body.

Mark instinctively wraps an arm around him, bringing him closer as he uses his other arm to rub up and down Donghyuck’s shoulder. As confused and scared as he is--because what could possibly be so awful that it could put out the light in someone as bright as Donghyuck--Mark refrains from spewing out a series of questions. Instead, he just rests his chin on top of the red hair and lets the boy cry out as much as he needs to. He can barely hear himself whispering soft words of comfort over Donghyuck’s loud cries.

It takes ten minutes for Donghyuck to come down to intermittent sniffles. Mark doesn’t loosen his hold on him for a second. He continues to rub a gentle thumb across a small patch of his shoulder. Even when he knows the worst of it has passed, he waits patiently for the boy to properly open up.

Donghyuck eventually lets out a sigh. He stirs a little and for a second, it seems like he’s going to pull away but instead he nuzzles closer into the crook of Mark’s neck. And Mark can’t help the giggle that bubbles up from his chest.

“Tickles,” is all he says. Donghyuck lets out his own short, amused noise.

“Deal with it.”

Mark smiles at the characteristic retort. They’re lulled back into silence, but it’s one of comfort and ease. Mark lets himself indulge for a moment, not so subtly rubbing his cheek against the top of Donghyuck’s head.

“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers into the boy’s hair. He hears a particularly harsh sniffle come from Donghyuck and he’s prepared to somehow press the boy closer into himself until he hears Donghyuck’s softened voice.

“Jaemin came out to his parents,” Donghyuck starts, never one to beat around the bush. Mark lets out a hum to tell him he’s listening but doesn’t want to interject. He feels fingers grasp one of the drawstrings of his jacket, twirling the end of it absentmindedly.

“And they were fine with it. Completely fine with it. You know what the first thing his dad said was? ‘We know, sweetie.’ And then his mom tells him how proud they are of him, for having so much courage to not hide himself anymore.” Donghyuck’s voice cracks but he doesn’t stop.

“And I’m happy for him. God, I _really_ am but-” Mark feels the hand on his chest turn into a fist and so he covers it with an open palm. “But at the same time, I can’t help but think that it’s not fair.” Mark can feel the dampness against his skin again and his heart _hurts_.

“I mean when I decided to tell my parents I was gay, I wasn’t really expecting them to jump up and down in glee waving around a pride flag. But I didn’t think they would be so... _cold_ about it either. I was shaking, I was _so fucking scared_ but I wanted to be brave for once. And so I told them. And then they sent me here. Shipped me off like broken goods.”

“And the worst part is, they weren’t even actually mean about it. They didn’t scream profanities at me, didn’t chase me out of the house. They just gave me a small smile, said ‘okay’ and called it a day. So I thought everything was fine. But I should have known better--they’ve always been unbearably passive people. The morning right after I told them, my mom’s all excited, showing me the website for this private Christian boarding school all the way across the country. She tells me how good their education system is, how nice the campus looks, how it would be such a great experience for me. Because you know, moving hundreds of miles away from your home and friends in the last year of high school is _such_ a blessing.” Donghyuck scoffs bitterly. “She couldn’t even look me in the eyes through any of the bullshit she was spouting at me.”     

“I know that I’m a shitty friend for it, I know that I shouldn’t be feeling like this but it’s just- It’s _not fair._ Why does he get to be happy but not me? What’s so different about us? Do I not deserve to be accepted too?” Donghyuck’s talking in between sobs now. Mark holds him impossibly tighter, feeling a similar wetness start to pool in his eyes.

“Fuck, am I really that awful of a person that even my own parents can’t love me for who I am?” Donghyuck chokes out. And it’s the last straw for Mark.

He holds Donghyuck’s shoulders in his hands for a moment, lifting him up so that they can be face to face. Then he brings both his hands to cup the boy’s cheeks. He looks him straight in the eyes and he tells him with as much conviction as he can muster.

“Your parents’ selfishness and ignorance says absolutely _nothing_ about you, Donghyuck. _Nothing_. You _do_ deserve to be accepted, you _do_ deserve to be loved and if people don’t, well then that’s their fucking problem,” Mark huffs out. Donghyuck’s stopped crying at this point, probably out of shock at the sudden display of brashness from his typically mild-mannered friend.

“ _They’re_ the idiots for pushing away someone as amazing as you. _They’re_ the ones that don’t deserve you,” Mark adds with finality, giving Donghyuck’s head a gentle shake in emphasis.

There’s something unreadable behind Donghyuck’s eyes. And Mark would be lying if he said it doesn’t scare him even a little. So he pulls Donghyuck into an embrace, partly because he didn’t want to stay under his heavy gaze any longer and partly because he just wanted to hold him.   

It takes Donghyuck a second to return the hug. They stay like that for a while, just holding each other in content silence.

“You’re not a shitty friend. You’re only human. We get jealous over things other people have. And that’s okay. What matters most is how you handle that jealousy and I know you don’t resent Jaemin for what he has. I know you’re too good of a person to do that,” Mark tells the boy in his arms. After a while, he feels Donghyuck nod against his shoulder in quiet acceptance.

When they pull apart and Mark only sees a small smile on Donghyuck’s lips, he lifts a hand up to rub a knuckle on the boy’s cheek, urging the corner of his lips to stretch wider. He succeeds, eliciting a quick laugh from the other. Donghyuck looks at him briefly before fixing his gaze on his own lap, hands coming to fidget with the ends of his shorts.

“Stop being so sweet to me, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck whispers into the empty space between them.

Mark thinks he hears an _or else_ at the tip of the other’s tongue. But he doesn’t dare try to finish the thought. He sits in silence, internally mulling over the implications of those words. He feels that familiar spike in his gut.

“You’ve got snot all over your jacket,” Donghyuck points out with his typical bite of judgement, forcing Mark out of his stupor.  

“Courtesy of who, I wonder?” he retorts. Donghyuck scoffs.

“Shut up, I’ll go wash it for you. I do feel a little bad about it.” Donghyuck holds out a hand sheepishly, waiting for Mark to shrug the piece of clothing off and hand it to him. Mark looks at it absently until he’s reminded of why he in fact can’t just hand over his jacket. His face grows two shades redder but thanks to the darkness in the room, it goes unnoticed.

“Oh uh it’s fine, I’ll just throw it in my laundry basket when I get back.” He shrugs to make a point of it not being a big deal. Donghyuck lifts an eyebrow.

“Mark that’s gross, you’re gonna transfer my snot all over your other clothes. Just give it here-”

“Imnotwearinganythingunderit” Mark speaks in record speed. But apparently it wasn’t even that fast because Donghyuck doesn’t seem to have had difficulty understanding him. He watches Mark for a second, whose hands are on his lap and gaze trained anywhere other than him. Donghyuck lets out an obnoxious scoff before getting up from the bed and walking over to a nearby dresser. By the time Mark finally gets the nerve to look over in his general direction, a shirt is being thrown at his face.

“You know, being gay doesn’t make me want to pounce on every inch of naked guy flesh I see.”

Mark wrestles the fabric away from his head and searches Donghyuck’s face in concern, afraid that he had actually offended the boy. But all that greets him is a tired, lopsided grin.

“Go change in the bathroom church boy. I’m serious about washing your jacket for you.” And Donghyuck really hadn’t taken any offense. But Mark seems to think he has a point to make.

So he takes the zipper between his fingers and tugs it all the way down. He tries to maintain eye contact with Donghyuck but he can only take so much embarrassment. As casually as he can, he goes through the motion of shrugging the jacket off and putting on the shirt Donghyuck had thrown at him, as if he was just alone in his own room. When he’s done, he glances towards Donghyuck, who had a blank look on his face. Until he brings the back of his hand to his forehead and makes a highly exaggerated swooning gesture. Mark promptly gives him the finger but he’s also biting back a grin.

“Dropping the f-bomb and flipping me off in the span of ten minutes? Not very godly of you. Not to mention that little strip tease.” Donghyuck sends him a wink. Mark feels his eyes almost roll all the way to the back of his head.

“Why am I friends with you?”

“You love me.”

The pause between them can’t have lasted for more than two seconds but something happens during that brief moment in time. Mark’s brain hasn’t quite caught up yet but his heart is beating two steps faster.

“Alright, I’m officially kicking you out. I’m seriously about to pass out,” Donghyuck is telling him in the next second. He walks back towards his bed and plops himself down without another word. Mark thinks he may have actually fallen asleep so he gets up quietly, tossing the jacket into the basket of laundry a few steps away. He’s already at the door when he hears the faint whisper of his name being called out. At that, he turns around and hums in question. Donghyuck remains still in his bed but Mark hears his next words loud and clear.

“You’re a good friend.”

Mark smiles, even if he knows Donghyuck can’t see him.

“Goodnight, Donghyuck.”

“Gnight, hyung.”

The walk back to his own dorm room is cold and desolate. And this time, Mark’s too preoccupied to even bother trying to keep his footsteps quiet. He doesn’t check the time but it feels like the entire ordeal happened in 3 hours. The fatigue catches up to him quickly and as soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s out like a light.

Mark doesn’t see Donghyuck for the next three days. Not even in class, which the other evidently skips. He can’t pretend that he’s not upset but he isn’t mad either. He decides to give Donghyuck the space and waits patiently for him.

When he finally opens the door to the sight of the familiar redhead holding up his Switch with a familiar, challenging grin, things seem to pick up right where they left off. Donghyuck still sasses Mark every chance he gets and he still keeps calling him by his full name.

The only difference is that now, Donghyuck doesn’t put any space between them when they’re sitting together. When they’re quietly doing homework, he reaches out to intertwine his fingers with Mark’s the second he feels his brows starting to furrow. He even makes a habit of resting his head on Mark’s shoulder, actually falling asleep like that every once in a while.

The joking insults gradually die down, replaced by subtle and scattered compliments.

_[ I like your shirt. Looks good on you._

_Damn, didn’t know you could write that well._

_Okay Mr. Athlete you can stop showing off now. ]_

Mark’s not sure what exactly prompted the sudden change. But he thinks that maybe it doesn’t really matter. Donghyuck’s next to him, and he’s smiling.

What else could he really ask for?   

  
\----------

 

Throughout the weeks that seem to just blur by, something changes in Mark too. It happens gradually, sneaking up on him like a seasoned predator stalking a helpless prey. But really it feels more like a dawning realization of something he probably felt from the very beginning but couldn’t quite grasp right away. He tries to figure out when exactly it might have started but there isn’t really a singular, defining moment that he can trace it back to.

Somewhere between the stolen glances and sneaking out past curfew to visit a sulking golden boy, the shared smiles and laughing so hard his sides feel about ready to burst, the gentle touches and carding fingers through the fading, fiery hair on his lap. Somewhere between these precious, everyday moments, Mark found himself falling in love with Donghyuck.

And contrary to popular belief--including his own--his world doesn’t turn upside down. He doesn’t start questioning every previous interaction he’s had with boys or girls. He isn’t consumed by misplaced guilt or internal disgust.

There is no existential crisis. No worries about parental acceptance.

When he looks at the sun-kissed boy and all he can feel is his heart overflowing with adoration and helpless giddiness, he figures that’s just the way it’s going to be. Perhaps how it was always meant to be. But he doesn’t dwell on that.

The one thing about Donghyuck that matters to him the most is that he’s the _person_ that teaches him what it means to love. And for that he’s eternally blessed.

  
\----------

 

“Hand?”

Donghyuck looks up questioningly from his phone, at the open palm presented right next to him.

“This paper’s stressing me out.” It wasn’t really.

Mark’s just starting to regret his actions when he hears a scoff next to him, immediately followed by warm fingers intertwining with his.

“So needy,” Donghyuck teases with a shake of his head. He continues to scroll through his phone with his free hand, not really trying to hide the smile on his face. Mark gives him a playful shove with his elbow. Then he goes back to work, happy that his white lie was bought.

“You don’t have to ask, you know.”

This time it’s Mark’s turn to look up from his lap. He glances to his right, admiring Donghyuck’s face from the side--his honey-like skin, the small dip of his nose and the seemingly permanent pout on his plush lips.

Mark lets out a breathless _okay_ when he realizes he’s probably been staring a little too long. He goes back to the much more uninteresting and less distracting piece of paper in front of him.

Like usual, Donghyuck manages to gradually close the gap between them. By the end of the hour, his head is comfortably resting on Mark’s shoulder while the hand that’s not wrapped up in his is softly holding onto the inside of his elbow.

With a careful raise of his shoulder, Mark checks to see if the boy has fallen asleep. When instead of receiving a jab to his side he only hears soft, steady breathing, Mark concludes that Donghyuck has in fact drifted off into dreamland.

And he can’t help the lazy smile that finds its way onto his face. He turns ever so slightly, catching a glimpse of the long lashes that hover over the top of Donghyuck’s cheeks. Maybe he wants to touch them with his lips.

“You’re beautiful.”

The whispered words fall on sleeping ears but Mark’s smile just grows, thinking about what it would be like when he gains the courage to say it to a properly conscious Donghyuck.

 

\----------

 

When you’re happy just going through your day to day life, Mark finds that time really does actually fly by. In the blink of an eye, the semester is coming to an end. And in the few months that he’s gotten to know Donghyuck, he learns two fundamental things about him.

Donghyuck _really really_ doesn’t like chemistry and he _really really_ likes to annoy Mark. Which leads to Mark’s current predicament.

They’re in said boy’s room sitting across from each other in the lone desk, studying for their upcoming exams. Well Mark is trying to at the very least. Donghyuck had given up about twenty minutes ago, exclaiming that he was going to hurl himself out the window if he had to _‘balance another goddamn chemical equation so help me god-’_

Donghyuck remains quiet for a while, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone, his chemistry textbook completely shut and abandoned to the side. Eventually he puts his phone down, following it with a very dissatisfied lip trill. He presumably still has 0 interest in studying because the next thing Mark knows, there’s a foot incessantly prodding at his shin. He ignores it, choosing to focus on the problem in front of him instead. Really, he should have learned by now that ignoring Donghyuck is--and always will be--a terrible decision.

“Maaaark Leeeeeee,” Donghyuck whines, his voice intentionally even higher than usual to ensure maximum annoyance. Evidently he was bored, uninterested in studying for a minute longer and seeking his friend’s attention.

Still, Mark doesn’t yield, having gotten used to the other’s unique pitchy voice. The prodding at his feet eventually subsides and the room goes quiet again. There’s a brief feeling of relief, thinking that the other had miraculously given up. But of course that wouldn’t make sense because Donghyuck is Donghyuck and he always gets what he wants. One way or another.

Without a word Donghyuck, gets up and walks around the table, falling out of Mark’s field of vision. He thinks the other might have opted to laze around on the bed but all of a sudden he’s feeling a weight on his back and skinny arms lazily drape over his chest. He can feel the heat from Donghyuck’s face right next to his. Mark stills at the new level of proximity. But only for a second. Surprisingly, time has only made him better at hiding his incredibly non-platonic feelings for the sun-kissed boy.

“Mark hyung,” Donghyuck lets out right next to his ear, a sweet lilt added to the honorific term.

And there it is. Donghyuck’s winning move.

Mark sighs, finally putting his pencil down. “Yes, Hyuck?” he jabs back with a faint smile, remembering the way Donghyuck had flushed adorably the first time he had gotten the courage to use the nickname.

Donghyuck only responds by dropping more of his weight onto the elder, holding his arms together in a way that’s just shy of a chokehold. Mark scrunches his nose in an amused laugh and pats the arm in front him in surrender. Donghyuck surprisingly obeys and retracts his hold but somehow they still end up holding onto each other’s hands. Mark turns around to look up at the boy standing behind him. He isn’t at all prepared for the look that greets him.

There’s a lazy smile on Donghyuck’s face and his eyes are kind of droopy as he looks down at Mark. And it’s an all too familiar gaze of adoration. Mark would know because it’s the way he looks at Donghyuck 95% of the time.

Now Mark doesn’t like to think of himself as being conceited, but he’s also not stupid. At least not too much. All things considered, the chances that Donghyuck holds the same non-platonic feelings for him are pretty damn high. Normal friends don’t touch each other the way they do. Normal friends don’t look into each other’s eyes as if they’re holding behind them everything that’s precious in the world. Normal friends don’t constantly look like they’re ready to kiss you in any given moment.

For a second, things actually get dangerous because Mark almost _almost_ steals a glance at Donghyuck’s lips. Add that to the list of things that normal friends definitely do not do.

He’s not sure how long the moment between them lasts but Mark’s thankful when Donghyuck breaks it with a question. “What are you gonna be doing over break?”

“Hmm, nothing much. Just gonna be at home.” Donghyuck stares at him briefly, silently nodding afterwards. “You?” Mark asks tentatively, not having a good feeling about it for some reason. Donghyuck just looks away as he shrugs his shoulders with a quick purse of his lips.

“Just gonna be here. Mom said it would be good to spend the holidays with my friends.”

Mark’s face immediately turns into a scowl. He’s not usually the type of person to be able to harbor hatred towards others but what he feels for Donghyuck’s parents come pretty damn close.

“Come home with me.” The words slip out almost naturally as he squeezes the warm hand in his. Donghyuck’s eyes flit back to him and Mark sees him think about it for all but two seconds.

“Okay.”

Mark takes in the softness of his voice. He smiles, and Donghyuck returns it with a hug, slipping his hand away and bending down to wrap both arms around his neck, gently this time. And it’s almost instinctual the way Mark’s hand comes up to hold the back of Donghyuck’s head. He ruffles the now pale, coppery hair, soothed by the way the soft strands slip easily through his fingers.

“Thank you.”

Donghyuck rarely says any more than that but Mark thinks the two simple words are more than enough to convey his heartfelt gratitude. And Mark never says anything back in response because really, it’s mostly for himself. Donghyuck’s happiness is his happiness after all.

Mark’s still in the middle of his thoughts by the time Donghyuck pulls away, giving his shoulder a playful shove as soon as he straightens up.

“Don’t forget to let your parents know. Wouldn’t want to surprise them with an unexpected visit by an angel.”

“Who, Lucifer?”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue and raises a fist in warning. Mark scrunches his nose amusedly, laughing at his own rarefound wittiness. Biting back a smile, Donghyuck shakes his head at the other’s glee.

Mark tries to go back to studying after but gives up when he sees the time. It was almost curfew and resident assistants would soon be making their rounds. He lets out a sigh. Call him lovesick but he hates being away from Donghyuck. Even for just the night. Even for just five minutes.

In his moping episode, he fails to notice Donghyuck carefully watching him.

“You know, I don’t really think I can sleep tonight,” Donghyuck casually lets out. If Mark was a dog, you would literally see his ears perk up at the familiar phrase.

“Sunrise club?” he questions with an excited smile.

“Sunrise club,” Donghyuck confirms with a single nod.

Donghyuck was the one to first coin the term during the second time Mark came to sneak into his dorm room well past curfew hours. He had intended on only visiting for an hour or two but the two ended up talking through the whole night, neither of them even noticing the time until they both started to hear intermittent chirping from outside. After Donghyuck pulled back the blinds and looked out the window, he had turned to Mark with a breathtaking smile, his face illuminated perfectly by the incoming rays of light.

_[ Welcome to the sunrise club, Mark Lee. ]_

Mark may or may not have had an almost uncontrollable urge to kiss him right then and there.

As he lays in his own bed, waiting impatiently for the night rounds to be over, he thinks about Donghyuck. The way he plays with his ears when he’s just a little bit bothered by something. The way the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly whenever Mark comes to rest a hand on his thigh. The way he whines for attention even when Mark’s already got an arm around him. Mark collects these pieces of information along the way, holding them preciously close to his heart. Everything Donghyuck does, every little quirk is just another thing for Mark to love.

For some reason, Mark suddenly remembers the time when Taeyong had ranted to him about the possibility of infinite parallel universes. He had laughed at the time--mostly because his cousin was high as a kite and likely talking out of his ass. But now he ponders the idea of it, up until the moment he comes up to Donghyuck’s room and sees the metallic 342 on the door.

When he opens it, he sees Donghyuck sitting in bed, face illuminated by the laptop in front of him. His hair is a little disheveled and he has on a sweater that’s two sizes too big. He has one earbud plugged in his ear and he’s offering the other one out to Mark already with an extended hand and a simple smile.  

If an infinite number of parallel universes actually did exist, Mark thinks-- _knows_ that he would find himself falling in love with Donghyuck in every single one of them.

 

\----------

 

“What in the hell are you doing?” is the first thing Donghyuck says when he walks through the open door into Mark’s room and sees said boy lying on top of a suitcase.

“Packing.” Mark huffs, throwing his weight onto the object below him with a slight jump. “Can’t get this thing to close though.”

Donghyuck replies with a scoff. “That’s because you probably packed like shit. Scoot,” he demands with a wave of his hand. Mark feels only the slightest bit offended but he moves off the luggage anyways, letting the copper-haired boy unzip it completely and undo all the hard work he’s put in the last five minutes. When Donghyuck throws the top open, he sees what he was expecting to see: an incomprehensible, jumbled mess of things. He gives Mark a pointed look, who just shrugs guiltlessly. Donghyuck shakes his head with a sigh, pulling out every item and setting it aside, outside of the luggage.

“Aw come on, I was already done!”

“You literally threw a pile of your clothes in and called it a day, I wouldn’t call that done.”

“I mean there’s no point in folding them, they’re just gonna get messy later anyways.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes as he goes to grab a shirt to fold. Mark just sits there for a while, not knowing what to do since the first time he reached out a hand to help, Donghyuck had swatted it away. So he just sits there, watching Donghyuck fold his clothes and pack his suitcase for him. He folds them and stores them neatly, all the while nagging at Mark for not being able to pack his own clothes properly. And there’s something incredibly domestic about it all, so much so that Mark’s heart swells too much too fast and for a second, he’s overwhelmed by his own emotions.

“I like you.” The words are out before he can stop them and it only takes half a second for panic to set in after he says them.

Donghyuck freezes in the middle of folding a pair of pants. Mark watches him with wide eyes, terrified of his next words and mostly expecting him to get up and walk out of the room. But the next thing he knows, Donghyuck’s scoffing, eyes never leaving the luggage in front of him.

“You mean you like someone doing your chores for you.”

Mark’s only slightly disappointed by the dismissive retort. But at the same time he’s glad, not really prepared for a full-blown confession quite yet.

“It’s a bonus, yeah.” Doesn’t mean he can’t tease just the hints of his feelings though. Donghyuck doesn’t respond, still not choosing to look at him either. His lips are formed in a tight line. Mark decides to pull on the breaks there, casually changing the subject. “Are you packed already?”

“We’re leaving tomorrow, of course I am. Unlike you, I have a sense of responsibility,” Donghyuck answers without a teasing smile. There’s an unexpected harshness in his voice and Mark realizes he doesn’t like being on the receiving end of it, feeling an uncomfortable spike in his gut.

“Sorry. I just...didn’t think it’d be much work. Since it’s only a week,” he says, voice getting smaller and smaller. All of a sudden, he’s incredibly embarrassed, realizing how stupidly unreliable he must look in front of Donghyuck. “Here let me- I’ll do the rest,” he says hurriedly, taking the pants from Donghyuck’s hands and turning the luggage towards him. Donghyuck’s hands stay suspended in the air for a while and he just sits there. Mark thinks he might be watching him but he can’t find it in him to look back so he doesn’t. Just then, Donghyuck finally brings his arms down to his thighs with a slap.

“Guess I’m done here then,” Donghyuck says flatly as he gets up. That one feels like a jab in Mark’s chest. He finally looks at the back of Donghyuck’s retreating figure, wanting to say something but finding himself unable to. Without a word or another look back, Donghyuck walks through the open door and out of the room.

Mark has no idea what just happened, his brain scrambling to replay the past five minutes, searching for a potential cause to Donghyuck’s sudden outburst. He’s pretty positive it’s about his accidental semi-confession. But he doesn’t know exactly what about it could have made Donghyuck so upset. He continues to mope about it for the rest of the night, a scowl permanently etched on his face.

“You alright, Mark?” Jeno’s unexpected voice pulls Mark from his thoughts. He turns to the boy across the room, finally relaxing his creased forehead.

“Oh yeah I’m good,” he says with a casual raise of his shoulders.

Jeno just hums in response at first. “You don’t look so good,” he eventually adds.

“No I am. I’m good. It’s just-” Mark stops, feeling the frown coming back. “I made Donghyuck upset.”

“Ah,” is Jeno’s only response. Mark nods, appreciating him for showing concern but not prying too deep.

“Did you apologize?” his roommate eventually questions.

“I-” Mark stops and there’s definitely a frown on his face again. “No, I didn’t. I don’t even know what I really did. I mean if I did I would totally apologize for it,” he explains with a huff. The more he thinks about it, the more frustrated he gets. Jeno pauses, watching him nervously play with one of the corners of his pillowcase.  

“Sometimes people just like hearing an apology. And maybe you didn’t even actually do anything wrong. But does it really matter? If you care about someone, you’ll want to make them feel better regardless. I don’t think it has to be a game of who’s wrong and who’s right.”

Mark stares back at his roommate, still trying to process everything that was said. It’s the most he’s ever heard him talk in the past year they’ve been living together. And what he tells him sounds like pretty solid advice. So he takes it.

As usual, he waits until he stops hearing patrolling footsteps in the hallway. Instead of waiting for another precautionary two hours though, he sets off just five minutes after he suspects the patrols to be done, far too impatient to wait any longer than necessary. When he reaches Donghyuck’s room, he takes out his phone from his pocket.

 

> **kind of amazing, cute friend with a really beautiful voice**
> 
>  
> 
> _Hey. I’m outside your room._
> 
> _Um wtf why?_
> 
> _Can you open the door please?_
> 
> _Hyuck?_
> 
> _If you don’t open it, I’m_
> 
> _gonna start banging on it._
> 
> _3_
> 
> _2_

 

Mark has a fist raised and pulled back, ready to shoot forward when suddenly the door opens and he’s dragged inside of the room with a yank to his wrist. He stumbles through the door, still correcting his balance when he hears Donghyuck’s whisper-yell.

“What the hell is wrong with you??”

Mark turns and the look on Donghyuck’s face almost has him backing out but he holds still. “I’m sorry,” he lets out.

“For what, almost getting us in trouble? Yeah you better fucking be.”

“For earlier. I don’t know what I did but I made you mad and I’m sorry.” He steals a glance at Donghyuck’s face and sees that he’s still scowling so he continues to ramble. “Whatever it was I said or did, I didn’t mean to hurt you and I’m really s-”

“Sorry, yeah I got that,” Donghyuck cuts him off just then, his forehead seemingly less creased.

“I was gonna say stupid. And then sorry.” Mark offers a sheepish smile. Donghyuck remains quiet for a while, watching him fidget with the sleeves of his jacket, pulling them past his hands up to his fingertips. Eventually, Donghyuck lets out a sigh and takes a few steps closer.

“Stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he whispers.  

“Doesn’t matter. I made you upset.” Mark shakes his head to the side with determination, remembering Jeno’s words. “I don’t wanna do that.” Donghyuck looks up at him, expression unreadable.  

“I’m not gonna force you to tell me. But I would really appreciate it if you did. Tell me what made you mad, I mean,” Mark adds, looking back at him and holding his gaze.

Donghyuck nods, walks towards his bed and sits down on the edge. Mark naturally follows and places himself next to the copper-haired boy. He wants to reach out and encase Donghyuck’s hands in his but he thinks it might be an inappropriate time to do so. So he withholds, shoving his hands under his thighs to prevent them from wandering.

“Jaemin had a...pretty shitty experience for his first relationship. If you could even call it that,” Donghyuck starts with a scoff. “The guy he was with apparently couldn’t decide if he was gay or not. So he would string Jaemin along, flirting with him and saying all these sweet things when they’re alone but then acting like he didn’t exist at school. I mean, Jaemin wasn’t exactly out at the time yet either but he was willing to do it. For him. But he didn’t feel the same. And I get being afraid of it. I know that when you’re not ready, you’re just not ready. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that that _scumbag_ took advantage of Jaemin. He _-_ ” Donghyuck stops himself, closing his fist tight to suppress his anger.

“I’ll spare you the details. It didn’t end well and Jaemin was a wreck for a _long_ time because of it. I watched my best friend fall apart right in front of me and I was barely able to help him piece himself back together.”

They’re quiet for a while, Mark not having the words and Donghyuck steeling himself to let out his.

“Look, when said you liked me out of nowhere and completely in passing, all I could think about was Jaemin coming to me and crying out into my lap until his voice was _raw_. And I got angry--really angry.”

Mark’s heart seizes at the implication of his words. He would _never_ hurt Donghyuck like that, couldn’t even dream of it. “Donghyuck, that wasn’t-”

“That’s not what you meant, I know. I know that you just genuinely like me as a friend but I just- I couldn’t help but remember the bastard that broke my best friend’s heart. I jumped to conclusions and was mean to you for no good reason. I’m sorry.” Donghyuck says it all in a rush, his voice breaking at the end.

Mark sees how tightly Donghyuck is squeezing his fists, how he’s gazing at his own feet. Like he doesn’t want to get so much as a glance of Mark. Like he’s afraid of what he’ll see.

“I’m sorry…” Donghyuck repeats, voice smaller than ever. Mark’s frozen in his spot.

It hurts at first, realizing that Donghyuck can’t even entertain the idea of Mark seeing him as anything more than a friend. But that’s exactly what stops Mark from letting everything out and correcting the living hell out of him right then and there. He needs Donghyuck to believe him when he tells him he loves him. Right now, he can’t--won’t. And Mark can understand why. In the past months they’ve spent together, they’ve really just been in their own world. Always in the confines of their rooms, always away from prying eyes.  

So he says nothing, doesn’t deny what Donghyuck claims nor confirm it. What he does instead is make the decision to ensure that by the time they come back from the break, Donghyuck _can_ believe him without a single shred of a doubt when he tells him the truth. That he's hopelessly and madly in love with him. And that he has every right to be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @pseudoserendpt


	4. home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dropping the next chapter a little earlier this time~ And yes I did add an extra chapter hehe. And another character. A few more to come in the last chapter :)
> 
> Thank you so so much for all the support you guys have been giving me. It really warms my heart hearing about how much happiness the story can bring to some people. It's all I can wish for as a writer. Hope everyone enjoys! I mentioned it on my twitter but just saying again as a warning: this chapter is fluff overload lol.

“How long till we arrive?” Donghyuck asks, accompanying the question with a poke to Mark’s side, who jumps with a quick laugh and grabs his hand immediately to stop it from doing any more dangerous adventuring.

“We’ll be there in two hours. You can sit still for at least that long right?” Mark teases, still holding onto his hand. He doesn’t miss the way Donghyuck’s eyes briefly glance away towards the people near their seats. Mark waits for him to pull his hand back but to his surprise and relief, he doesn’t. Donghyuck instead weaves their fingers together and lets their connected hands gently fall down into the small space between them.

Looking out at the city whizzing by, Mark can’t help but smile.

“I’m sleepy,” Donghyuck mumbles soon after the train takes off. Mark turns back to face him, catching the tired boy mid-yawn and squinting drowsily afterwards. His smile just gets that much wider.

With his free hand, Mark reaches for the other side of Donghyuck’s head, just so he can bring it down to rest on his own shoulder. “Then sleep,” he whispers into copper hair.

He feels Donghyuck tense up but only for a second. And then he’s relaxing, nuzzling even further into Mark’s neck. Mark bites back the laughter that threatens to erupt. He quickly realizes that Donghyuck’s probably doing it on purpose, entirely aware of his ticklishness.

“You gonna drool on me again?” he asks jokingly, recalling with way too much fondness the past times that Donghyuck had fallen asleep on his shoulder, consistently leaving a very distinctive wet patch each time. He feels the head on his shoulder shift slightly, presumably to look up at him.

“Always.” Mark can feel the other’s grin against his neck. He makes a playful attempt of shoving Donghyuck away, only making the boy whine and cling harder. As if that wasn’t the intended effect.

There are no Michael Jackson posters adorned on the wall. No stacks of textbooks scattered on a bed. No Lee Jeno trying to conspicuously pack up his backpack in the corner of the room.

But Donghyuck’s there, wrapped around Mark’s arm and breathing softly down his neck. The only constant that matters.

 

\----------

 

By the time they arrive, the sun has already set. The second Mark walks through the familiar door, he’s engulfed in a bone-crushing hug before he can even put down his luggage.

 _“Markie, sweetie I’ve missed you so much! Welcome home!”_ The English words were foreign and completely unexpected to Donghyuck.

Mark laughs as he wraps one arm around the smaller frame in front of him. _“I missed you too, mom,”_ Mark replies. After she finally chooses to let go, she immediately turns to the boy standing awkwardly next to them. Donghyuck’s rushing to put together the very little English he knows but he’s surprised yet again--and very relieved--to hear completely fluent Korean come out from her mouth instead.

“You must be Donghyuck! Mark’s told me _all_ about you,” she says excitedly, pulling him into a quick hug as well. The sudden contact takes Donghyuck by surprise but he returns the gesture easily.

Mark can see the copper-haired boy from his peripheral looking at him but he refuses to acknowledge the smug, knowing grin.

“Nothing too bad, I hope,” Donghyuck says when he steps back.

“Are you kidding me? He _constantly_ talks about how great-”

“O-kay mom, why don’t we go and say hi to dad, yeah?” Mark cuts in, insistently guiding her deeper into the house.

“We’ll talk later,” she whisper-yells towards Donghyuck with a not too inconspicuous wink as she’s being dragged away by her son. Donghyuck laughs to himself. He doesn’t follow the two right away, taking the time to properly look around the house from his spot at the entrance.

It’s a lot smaller than he expected, at least for someone going to the type of school they were in. He briefly remembers Mark talking about being under an academic scholarship and in that moment, he’s able to fully grasp why the boy was always so hard-working. His gaze then falls towards a row of picture frames on a nearby table. He takes the few steps forward, reaching out for the largest one.

It’s a candid photo. Mark’s mom is sitting in front of a piano, her husband to her left and a presumably 4-year old Mark on her lap. Her hands are frozen on top of the keys and her husband’s mouth hangs open, like he was in the middle of talking--or singing, Donghyuck guesses. Mark has a hand clutching on his mom’s shirt, eyes focused on the piano in front of him with a curious look in his big eyes.

“Ahhh I forgot about all these.” Donghyuck looks up at the sound of Mark’s voice. Gently, he places the picture frame back down, right where it was situated. He looks up at the raven-haired boy in front of him.

“I like your mom. She seems really nice.” His words are simple, but genuine.

Mark nods with a smile. “She loves you already,” he notes. Donghyuck scoffs playfully.

“Of course she does since you’ve told her _all_ about me,” Donghyuck says with a smirk. He tries to sound as obnoxious as possible, in a particularly teasing mood. So when Mark replies, all serious and sincere, he’s a little caught off guard.

“Yeah I have.” Mark looks him in the eyes and holds his gaze. Donghyuck’s smirk disappears. “I talked about you every time she called. There’s a lot to say about you, Lee Donghyuck.” There’s a softness in his voice that can’t be missed and Donghyuck doesn’t. He’s frozen in his spot, at a loss for words for once.

When Mark notices the pink hues on the other’s cheeks, he brings his head down, letting out an amused grin to himself. Then he’s snapping his head back up and reaching out for Donghyuck’s hand. 

“Come meet my dad,” he says in a rush, immediately turning around to tug Donghyuck along, only slightly taking advantage of his dazed state.

In the living room, Donghyuck greets Mark’s dad, finding that he’s just as jovial and welcoming as his wife. After the brief introductions, they start setting up the table for dinner. Donghyuck offers to help but Mark’s mom just sits him down firmly. When Mark goes to take a seat next to him, she clicks her tongue at him, pointing towards the kitchen. Mark whines but he gets up right away to do as he was instructed. From his seat, Donghyuck’s looking at him helplessly but Mark can only send back a shrug.

Dinner was pleasant, Donghyuck coming to like Mark’s parents more and more. Especially since they would bring up embarrassing stories about their son every chance they could. Full of good food and laughter, they excuse themselves for the night, finally heading upstairs with their luggages. When they reach the top, Donghyuck looks down the hallway, counting the number of closed doors. Mark continues to stride towards the last room at the end, not noticing Donghyuck’s pause.

“Um. Where should I…” he calls out uncertainly, not having been made aware of his exact living arrangements for the next week prior to their arrival. Mark turns around and has to stop himself from grinning at Donghyuck’s rare state of awkwardness. He motions to the room in front of him with a tilt of his head.

“My room’s over here,” he says, subtly answering his question.

“Oh,” is all Donghyuck says in response. He fidgets in his spot, glancing at the other rooms nearby. Mark quickly picks up on his uneasiness.

“We’ve been using the guest bedroom for storage so it’s a mess in there but we can clear it out. If you’d be more comfortable there,” he offers. Donghyuck seems to snap out of it just then, rigidly shaking his head back and forth.

“No no it’s fine, I don’t wanna trouble your parents,” he responds in a rush, already picking his luggage back up and walking towards Mark, who doesn’t even try to hide the smile that finds its way onto his lips. Placing a luggage on the floor to free a hand, Mark reaches out for the handle and promptly opens the door. The two walk in wordlessly. Mark strides towards his bed, putting all of his stuff on top of it. Meanwhile, Donghyuck stays relatively close to the doorway, looking around at the simple, clean space.

“Your room’s so boring,” he comments off-handedly. Mark just laughs at his honesty. He’s about to make an effort to defend himself but Donghyuck interrupts him with another observation. “You play the guitar?” he questions, approaching the instrument propped up in the corner of the room.   

“I did, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you take it with you to school?” By now, Donghyuck has freed his hands of his luggages as well, fingers coming forward to trace the neck of the instrument. Mark shrugs nonchalantly.

“Figured I could do without the distraction.” Mark has a thought just then, making him laugh to himself.

“What’s funny?” Donghyuck asks with a small smile, curious. Mark hesitates on answering truthfully, but only for a second.

“I was just thinking how ironic it was. I dropped music--something I really loved--to keep myself focused on my studies...” For a second, he considers backtracking, a flurry of _‘what ifs’_ whizzing through his thoughts. But with a brief shake of his head, he wills them away. “But then I ended up meeting you anyways.”

Mark surprises even his own self with this newfound boldness. He steals a glance across the room, gauging Donghyuck’s reaction. He sees the other’s hand movements come to a complete stop at his words, staying frozen where they were on the guitar. It’s taking him too long to respond, the silence weighing heavily in the expanse of the room. So Mark takes the few steps forward, standing next to him and reaching out for the instrument in front of them. He traces a string from the top, hand eventually coming to a pause just barely above Donghyuck’s.

“You’re very distracting,” Mark whispers lowly. He hadn’t realized exactly how close he had stepped into Donghyuck’s space until he turns to face the boy next to him.

Donghyuck still isn’t saying anything and he’s refusing to make eye contact. So when Mark feels the ghost of a finger tip hooking onto his thumb, he swears he feels his chest almost explode. And it’s silly because he’s touched those hands before, enough times that he thinks--with full confidence--that he would be able to pick them apart from others blindfolded. He would be able to recognize the warm feeling of home.

The seemingly miniscule point of contact means so much in that moment. Mark’s not a mind reader but he thinks he hears the whispers of _‘maybe I’m starting to believe you’_ from the small space where their fingers connect.

But before Mark could say anything more, Donghyuck retrieves his hand and steps past him.

“Your mom would probably kill you if she sees me sleeping on the floor huh?” Donghyuck turns back to ask him. And he sounds completely fine but Mark can tell he’s not quite--the playfulness of his tone desperately trying to mask a sort of nervousness dancing behind his eyes.

_‘Not yet.’_

If there’s one trait Mark has always had, it’s patience. So he just smiles to himself and nods. “Yeah she wouldn’t hesitate either.”

The two stand there in silence for a while, Donghyuck seeming to mull over something serious in his head until he suddenly perks up with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Well. Fair warning, I toss around in my sleep a lot,” Donghyuck all too casually informs him, turning around to go through his bag before he could see Mark’s wide-eyed state.

Mark knows they have futons in the house. They’re packed just down the hallway, inside one of the cabinets. In fact, he was about to step out and get one just a second ago. But if Donghyuck had already accepted a different arrangement--one that doesn’t involve the admittedly comfortable futons--then who was Mark to go against that?

Without much exchange of words, they get ready for bed, each taking their respective turn in the bathroom down the hallway. Mark’s sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to distract his nerves away but Donghyuck was completely right. His room was rather bare, not much to look at so not much to distract him with. He wonders wistfully where all the confidence he had just minutes ago had disappeared to.

Just to emphasize how much power Donghyuck holds over him, Mark freezes the moment the boy walks back into the room, light orange hair a little fluffy--presumably from being violently dried with a towel--and clad in an oversized t-shirt with his shorts peeking out just below the hemline. Mark has to tighten the grip he has on his knees. He so desperately wants to let out the sigh he’s holding back. He thinks that honestly, Donghyuck has no right to look so adorable and perfectly cuddly.

By the time Donghyuck makes it to his side of the room, he realizes he’s been staring a little too intently to not be unnerving so naturally he starts stumbling through words like the nervous, jumbled mess he is.

“You uh- do you want to sleep by the wall or um. Like, should I go here or…”

“I’ll take the wall,” Donghyuck stops his embarrassing rant about what was supposed to be a simple, straight-forward question, propping up a knee to hoist himself up on the bed and situate himself in the corner like he said he would. Mark swears he sees a smirk on his face in the brief moment that he passes by.

“Right. Cool.” Mark stays sitting on the edge, still awkwardly holding onto his knees. He takes a quick peek behind him and sees Donghyuck already settled under the blanket and facing the wall, away from him. “I’ll um, go get the lights then. You’re okay with that right?”

Donghyuck giggles. He _giggles_ and Mark kind of wants to die.

“Yes Mark, I’m a fully grown teenage boy that doesn’t need night lights anymore.”

Instead of trying to defend himself, Mark chooses to just stop letting words out of his mouth and gets up to fulfill the task. He gets to the doorway, flips the switch with a little too much force and then pauses.

“Um. The door. Should I- do you prefer it cracked open or-” Melodic laughter cuts through his words.

“Mark Lee get your ass over here before you give yourself an aneurysm.”

Mark flushes beet red, quickly closing the door and walking back to his own bed. There’s enough space for both of them but just barely. When he’s finally settled under the covers, facing away from the other boy, he can faintly feel the heat that Donghyuck’s back is letting off. Despite this, he feels a shiver wrack through his entire body.

“Gnight,” Mark hears the faint voice call out.

“Goodnight, Hyuck.”

At first, Mark wonders how he’s going to be able to sleep. With his heart practically threatening to burst through his ribs and out of his chest and all. But an hour later, his heart has calmed and he’s finally able to feel himself slowly drifting off into sleep. He’s just slipping into unconsciousness when he feels the bed bounce, the sudden movement quickly jolting him awake. He glances back and sees Donghyuck now on his back, sleeping soundly with soft breaths.

Ah. He had forgotten Donghyuck’s warning, too busy acting all frazzled at the prospect of sharing a bed with the boy he’s in love with.

The cycle repeats throughout the night, each turn of Donghyuck’s body pulling Mark away further and further from sleep. He’s only mildly upset, eventually giving up and turning to face the boy next to him. He stills when he comes face to face with Donghyuck, looking far too peaceful for someone that’s been tormenting him out of sleep the past few hours--albeit unintentionally.

Up until this trip, Mark thinks he’s done a fairly decent job at keeping his feelings under control (sans the stupidly impulsive, accidental mini-confession in his dorm room). He’s always been able to pretend like he isn’t totally affected by Donghyuck’s proximity.

But having Donghyuck in his house, in his bed, in this moment--it does a million things too many to him. All of a sudden he’s drowning in his own emotions and he thinks he can’t breathe. Out of nowhere and in such a short amount of time, this indescribable human being came into his life and managed to latch himself deep into the depths of Mark’s heart, filling it with everything that’s good, everything that’s bad, everything that’s _Donghyuck_. And his heart can only endure so much weight for so long.

“I’m in love with you, Lee Donghyuck.”

_[ You’re a bit dangerous, Mark Lee. ]_

“ _Fuck_ , I’m in love with you.”

_[ Stop being so sweet to me, Mark Lee. ]_

“ _So. Damn. In love with you_ …”

 

\----------

 

Mark wakes up to an empty bed. Disoriented and a little disappointed, he sits himself up, wiping groggily at his eyes. For a second, he has the irrational thought of Donghyuck leaving but he sees his things on the floor and sighs a breath of relief.

Wondering where the copper-haired boy went, Mark gets up to walk towards the staircase. When he reaches the bottom, he’s immediately greeted with a sweet aroma and hears faint giggles from the direction of the kitchen. He rounds the corner to the sight of Donghyuck standing in front of the stove, talking comfortably with his mom, who’s sat on one of the bar stools. Donghyuck hears his approaching footsteps and turns around, greeting him with an all too bright smile when he sees him.

“Nice bed head,” he comments. Mark quickly fumbles to pat his hair down, blushing lightly. Donghyuck just chuckles at his flustered reaction.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” his mom greets him kindly. “You really do get the most awful bed heads. Like a little rat’s nest,” she then adds, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. He scrunches his nose in a show of embarrassment.

“Are you two just gonna be teaming up against me for the entirety of this week?” Donghyuck doesn’t say anything or even turn around from the stove. He simply snaps a finger and clicks his tongue as substitute for actually saying _‘bingo!’_

Mark rolls his eyes but he has a smile on his face. He goes to sit down next to his mother. As soon as he’s seated, he lets out a long yawn, shaking his head blearily afterwards.

“Didn’t sleep very well?” his mom asks concernedly, stroking the back of his head.

“I had a little trouble falling asleep,” Mark answers with a lowered voice and eyes Donghyuck’s back carefully.

“Oh honey, is the futon not comfortable?”

Mark just blinks at her for a second, gathering his thoughts. Before he gets the chance to answer, he sees his dad walk into the room from the corner of his eyes.

“Good morning, beautiful family.” All three of them reply in their own greeting. “Whatcha cooking there, Donghyuck? Smells delicious. Managed to drag my lazy butt out of bed.” Donghyuck lets out a chuckle and turns around briefly to respond.

“Just pancakes and oatmeal. Nothing fancy but I hope you guys will like it.”

“I’m sure we will, sweetie,” Mark’s mom responds from her seat. “Oh, honey come look at what I worked on yesterday!” she turns to her husband excitedly just then, already jumping out of her seat and taking his hand in hers. “We’ll be out in the backyard kids. Call us when breakfast is ready!” she calls out right before stepping through the door, her husband in tow right behind her.

Mark’s eyes immediately go towards the boy in the kitchen. He clears his throat awkwardly before getting up from his seat. With leisure steps, he walks to place himself right next to Donghyuck.

“It’s really nice of you to make breakfast for us,” Mark leans in when he says it. Donghyuck turns to him briefly, giving him a small smile and a shrug.

“Least I could do. For letting me crash here for the week and stuff.” Donghyuck says it a little quietly.

“You’re always welcome here.” Donghyuck doesn’t say anything in response, just nods with a tight-lipped smile. They’re quiet for a while, Mark just standing next to Donghyuck, watching him stir the pot of oatmeal. He yawns again, unable to hold back the drowsiness. Donghyuck stops his movements for a second, glancing at Mark as he covers up his mouth with a hand.

“I kept you up last night.” It wasn’t a question.

“What? Nah you were fine. You just moved every once in a while. No big deal,” Mark says, trying to sound as casual as possible. Donghyuck turns to him, one of his eyebrows raised questioningly. “It’s not your fault I’m a light sleeper. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ll live.” Mark shoves him lightly with his elbow, prompting him to focus on cooking. Donghyuck looks like he’s about to say something but they hear loud laughter from outside just then, causing both of them to turn their gaze towards the window.

They see Mark’s parents in the backyard. His dad has his arms wrapped around his mom’s waist and she’s trying to break free from his grip, laughing all the while. She gives up quickly and goes to capture his nose between her fingers, twisting his head side to side. The second she lets go, he kisses her on the forehead. They smile at each other, as if they’re the only two people in the world in that moment.

Donghyuck can’t help the smile that reaches his face too. He turns away just then, returning his focus to the stove in front of him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen my parents act like that to each other,” Donghyuck comments. Mark turns to him, watches the side of his face.

“Does it weird you out?” he asks. Donghyuck shakes his head.

“No. It’s sweet,” he answers with a smile. Mark mirrors his expression. He watches Donghyuck as he turns off the stove, turns his body around and rests it against the counter.

“My parents kind of just tolerate each other. They never joke around. Or even argue. It’s...weird. Honestly I don’t think they even really love each other. Or me.” Mark feels a pang in his chest.

“I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like I don’t really have a family.” Donghyuck speaks quietly, eyes casted to his own feet as he picks at the fabric of his jeans. Mark takes a step closer so that they’re side by side. He looks down at the boy next to him, and all he can think about is how he’s come to mean so much to him in so little time. He feels like he could do anything for Donghyuck, anything just to make him smile.

“You know, family doesn’t necessarily have to be your blood relative. Not always. You can find a home in anyone.”

_You can find a home in me._

But Mark doesn’t say this out loud. Instead he just takes Donghyuck’s hand in his, like he has so many times and he will so many more. He gives the other a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that he’s here and that he’s not going anywhere.

Donghyuck finally looks at him. He glances down at their intertwined hands before bringing his eyes back up to look straight into Mark’s. And they’re close, closer than they’ve ever been. When Donghyuck starts to lean his head in, Mark swears his heart almost bursts. But before it gets the chance to, he feels the weight of Donghyuck’s head on his shoulder, soft tufts of hair tickling his chin. The familiar closeness immediately calms him.

They stay like that for a while, hands linked and their heads resting on top of each other. Donghyuck nuzzles closer into the crook of Mark’s neck, making the slightly taller boy giggle. After a soft jab to his side, Mark feels Donghyuck pull away and he has to stop himself from whining at the loss of contact.

“Breakfast is ready.” Donghyuck tips his head towards the window. Mark gets the message and goes to inform his parents outside.

Donghyuck thinks everyone’s exaggerating when they mention how amazing the food tastes. Mark notices how uncharacteristically shy the boy gets from receiving compliments, lightly shaking his head and dodging the comments each time.

“Please teach Mark how to cook. I’m afraid he’ll starve himself to death in college. Wait actually, it might be better if you just do the cooking,” Mark’s mom tells Donghyuck, who pauses for a second before grinning at his plate.

“Yeah he’d probably end up blowing up a kitchen if he tried to cook without supervision.” They all laugh at the accusation--even Mark, who concedes defeatedly.

After breakfast, Mark finds himself thinking about something he’s probably been subconsciously avoiding. He thinks about college, the future. And whether or not Donghyuck will be in his.

They’re out in his backyard, enjoying the soft warmth of the sun beaming down on their skin. Well at least Donghyuck seems to be. His eyes are closed while he rests his head back on the chair, basking like a lizard in need of heat. Mark thinks he looks beautiful like this. But then again, when doesn’t he?

“Do you think we’ll end up at the same university?” he asks without any sort of preamble. Donghyuck opens his eyes and slowly turns to him. It kind of makes Mark extremely nervous so he does what he always does when he’s on edge. He babbles.

“I was just thinking… About what my mom said. You cooking for me and stuff when we’re in college. It kinda got me thinking about things. Like, if we’d still be friends after we move out of the boarding school...” Mark notices Donghyuck tighten his lips, which just increases his nerves tenfold.

“Because I would really like to! Stay friends I mean. Keep in contact,” he adds in a rush. “And I thought it would be really cool if we went to the same college. Not that I’d want you to have to consider me when choosing yours! Of course not. But I just thought it’d be cool if we _happened_ to end up at the same place. Or at least ones near each other. We could like, get an apartment together or something. You could make food for me and make sure I don’t burn down our kitchen,” he says with a sheepish smile.

When he realizes exactly what he just said, his eyes widen. He looks towards Donghyuck and sees the same exact expression on his face.

“Fuck, I meant- I don’t know, I just thought- fuck forget I said anything, I’m being really weird please ignore me god-”

“That sounds really nice.” Donghyuck interrupts him with his soft voice. When Mark looks back at him, he’s got his head rested back again and his eyes closed.

“What does?”

“Living with you.”

Mark waits for a sarcastic remark to follow, maybe another jab at his inability to cook. But it doesn’t come. And his heart swells at the idea of actually living with Donghyuck. Telling him goodnight just before bed, waking up to greet him good morning. It sounds like domestic bliss and the fact that Donghyuck wants the same thing makes him feel far too giddy.

They don’t talk anymore about it after that. After lunch, Mark takes Donghyuck around town, as per his mom’s suggestion. He admits that he doesn’t know the place that well since his family moved there just before he started high school and he’s been living at the boarding school since. They spend most of their time at the local park, eating ice cream on a bench. Mark tries not to blush when Donghyuck wraps his hands around his to get a taste of his cookies and cream cone. Donghyuck offers his in return. Mark takes a shy lick.

Back at his house, they talk about what careers they’ve been thinking about pursuing.

Somewhere in the conversation, as they’re sitting on Mark’s bed, Donghyuck gets the idea that they write their top three university choices down on a piece of paper and show each other at the same time. Mark smiles and nods in agreement. And so, they both take their time writing their little list.

“Ready?” Donghyuck asks after Mark puts his pen down. He gives him a firm nod and Donghyuck immediately starts counting down from 3. As soon as he finishes, they both turn their papers around. Mark nervously reads the sheet in front of him.

Their top two choices are the exact same universities and happen to be pretty close to each other.

When Mark looks up to smile at Donghyuck, he sees the other already beaming at him.

 

 

\----------

 

 

“Hey Mark,” Donghyuck walks into the room while Mark’s sat in his bed, reading a book. Mark turns towards the door at the sound and sees Donghyuck standing by the doorway, looking ready for bed.

“Yeah what’s up?” He asks casually, actively reminding himself not to get distracted by the image of Donghyuck in an oversized shirt.

“Can you show me where you guys keep your futons?” Donghyuck says it like he’s just asking to borrow a pencil. Mark eyes him for a second before shaking his head with a smile.

“Forget it, Hyuck. You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Donghyuck puffs out his cheeks in dissatisfaction, which just makes Mark laugh. “I’m serious, I’ll die if my mom finds out.”

“Well then I’ll just bring you back to life. Do some CPR or some shit,” Donghyuck says with a shrug. He seems to realize what he implies just then and a blush begins to form on his cheeks.

“You can’t resuscitate someone from a heavy beating.” Mark’s trying to bite back a smile. Donghyuck stays standing by the doorway, looking down at his feet.

“Well if you don’t die from getting beat up by your mom, it’ll be sleep deprivation that gets you,” Donghyuck argues from where he’s standing. Mark heaves a small sigh.

“No one’s dying, I’ll be fine. Come on, let’s just go to bed.” Mark motions with his head. Donghyuck shuffles in his feet for a good few seconds, eventually turning off the lights and walking towards the bed with hurried steps. He heaves himself over Mark to get to his spot by the wall.

“Goodnight Donghyuck,” Mark says before turning to his side.

“Night,” Donghyuck reciprocates quietly.

A couple of minutes pass and Mark’s just about to start getting into a state of drowsiness when Donghyuck speaks up.

“What if I wake up super early and put the futon away before your mom can see?” Donghyuck asks with a gentle poke to his back. Mark slowly opens his eyes and sits up.

“Hey, if it’s really bothering you, I can just sleep on the floor.” Mark hasn’t even made any move to do what he’s just suggested when he’s stopped by a sudden hand around his wrist. He looks at Donghyuck and sees the boy lightly shake his head from side to side.

Mark feels a spike in his heartbeat.

“Maybe you’ll magically stop moving around then?” Mark offers weakly after resettling himself back in bed, thankful that the other couldn’t see the undeniable blush on his face. Donghyuck’s quiet for a while, clearly thinking hard about something.

“I can. Stop moving around so much, I mean,” he eventually says quietly, barely loud enough for Mark to hear.

“What do you mean?” Mark’s a little confused and intrigued. Donghyuck’s playing with his fingers, eyes focused on his own hands.

“You have to uh... Hold me down. Sort of.” He spares a glance at Mark for a brief second.

After a tensioned pause, Mark asks incredulously “You mean like with a rope?”

Donghyuck blinks at him owlishly.

“Oh. My god. Mark Lee.”

“What? Then what did you-”

“Shut up, stop talking,” Donghyuck seemed to be losing his patience so Mark does as he’s told. “Lay back down. Face me.” Again, Mark follows wordlessly. “Bring your right arm out.” Mark does that too. He awaits for further instruction but Donghyuck just looks at him for a few seconds before turning away from him.

What.

Mark’s about to call out in protest when all of a sudden he sees Donghyuck inching back. Towards him. His eyes widen and his head recoils back just an inch, mostly out of confusion and before he even has time to fully process what’s going on, he finds himself with a whole Lee Donghyuck flush against his chest. And he kind of wants to scream but he figures that would be inappropriate and somewhat offensive so he holds it in. With great difficulty too because _what the fuck, what is happening_.

“Give me your arm,” Donghyuck continues his curt instructions but with a softer voice, snapping Mark out of his internal breakdown. Slowly, Mark lifts up his free arm. Donghyuck then takes a hold of his wrist and brings his arm down to hang loosely on top of his own waist. Mark’s eyes get impossibly wider.

“Jaemin realized I stop moving so much when I’m being held,” Donghyuck explains with an even voice. Mark doesn’t say anything in response, finding that he just actually can’t since his brain is still trying to catch up on the current state of things. The silence between them stretches on.

“Is this okay?” Donghyuck’s voice is small when he asks the question, unsure and previous brazenness completely gone. And Mark can’t have him sounding like that. So he forces himself to snap out of his daze and closes the little gap between them, holding Donghyuck firmly against him.

“More than.”

Mark knows his heart is beating at least a hundred per minute but he reminds himself that he isn’t hiding anymore so he stays like that, pressed up flush against Donghyuck, who most definitely can feel his racing heart. He wonders what might be going on in the boy’s head right now.

“Goodnight Hyuck,” he whispers softly, resisting the urge to nuzzle his face into the copper hair right in front of him.

“Night.” Mark barely hears it with how quick and quiet Donghyuck says it. Looking at the back of the boy’s head, he feels overwhelmed by the sheer amount of affection he holds for him. And so he promptly decides, fuck it.

Mark gently rubs a cheek on the back of Donghyuck’s head, holding him just a little bit tighter. Donghyuck’s reaction is immediate, leaning back into his touch with a soft exhale. Mark feels his heart double in speed.

“Didn’t expect you to be such a cuddler,” Donghyuck teases, smiling and trying to get his own heart to calm down, unbeknownst to Mark.

“Me neither.”

Eventually Mark’s heart does settle down. But his mind continues racing. All he can think about is how perfect it feels having Donghyuck in his arms, the back of the boy’s head tickling his nose, the familiar smell of peach shampoo right under his nose.

Mark thinks he could really get used to this.

When he wakes up in the morning, it’s to the sight of copper hair and the sound of soft breathing. He realizes his body feels a little too warm from the prolonged contact but he doesn’t want to let go of Donghyuck, wants to treasure this feeling for as long as he can. Preferably forever.

He tries to go back to sleep but finds that he can’t. Regrettably, he starts retrieving his arm from Donghyuck’s waist. Just then, the bronzed boy starts rustling awake. Mark watches him rub his eyes from the back, not expecting him to turn around in their current position. All of a sudden he’s staring right at the heart of the sun.

“Hi.”

Mark’s breath catches in his throat.

“Hey,” he manages to choke out.

“You sleep okay?” Donghyuck whispers. Mark just nods, not trusting the stability of his own voice. Donghyuck smiles, lazy and with droopy eyes and slightly tousled hair. It’s a look Mark hasn’t seen before. He quickly adds it to the ever growing list of his favorite expressions on Donghyuck.

“You didn’t move an inch last night,” he mentions.

“Told you. Works like a charm,” Donghyuck says with a smile. All of a sudden, it seems to dawn on him exactly how close they are--too too close--and his eyes go a little wide. He turns away from Mark with a tight-lipped smile, sitting up on the bed. Mark’s hand naturally slips away from his waist.

They stay in silence for a while, Mark nervously looking up at Donghyuck as he’s laying down. It seemed like Donghyuck was about to say something when they hear two quick knocks from the door. Mark turns around at the sound.

“Come in,” he calls out. Facing his doorway, Mark doesn’t see the sudden panic that washes over Donghyuck’s face.

“Mark wait-”

“Mornin, you two. Hope I didn’t wake you guys up,” Mark’s mom says with a head poked in through the door.

“Nah we were just about to get up,” Mark tells her as he sits himself up on the bed. Meanwhile Donghyuck still hasn’t moved or breathed from his spot right next to him.

“Well just dropping by to let you guys know breakfast is ready downstairs.” Mark smiles at his mom with a nod. “And that you have a visitor waiting for you,” she adds with an expectant grin. Mark sends her a wide-eyed look.

“No way is it-”

“Come down and see for yourself,” his mom teases with a tilt of her head. Just then, her focus switches to Mark’s side. “Donghyuck sweetie, you’re not allergic to peanuts are you?”

Donghyuck just blinks at her at first. Mark has to bump him with his elbow to get him out of his stupor.

“Oh um- No. I’m not,” he eventually croaks out with an awkward shake of his head.

“Perfect.” A bright smile is sent towards Donghyuck. “I’ll see you two downstairs!” Mark’s mom says excitedly before retrieving her head back from the door and shutting it closed.

Mark immediately turns to look back at Donghyuck.

“Hey, you alright?” He watches the other carefully. Donghyuck seems to consider his answer for a good few seconds but he just ends up nodding lightly. Mark’s about to ask again for confirmation but Donghyuck interrupts him before he can even start.

“Come on let’s go, I’m starving,” he says, giving Mark’s thigh a light slap to urge him out of bed. The raven-haired boy chuckles as he swings his legs out onto the floor, more than ready to start another day with Donghyuck by his side.

During the brief conversation with Mark’s mom, Donghyuck wasn’t really fully functioning. So he’s entirely caught off guard when he walks up to the dining table and sees a stranger in the room. An intriguingly beautiful stranger.

“Taeyong-hyung!” Mark calls out as he rushes in for a hug. Meanwhile Donghyuck maintains his position to the side, not sure of what to do or say. When the two break apart, Mark turns to Donghyuck excitedly.

“Hyung this is-”

“Donghyuck, right?” Taeyong finishes for Mark, turning towards the copper-haired boy and offering his hand out in greeting. Donghyuck steals a quick glance towards Mark before extending his own.

“Yep, that’s me. You’re the dancing cousin, right?” Donghyuck throws back, feeling his nervousness starting to ebb away.

“I guess that’s me, yeah,” Taeyong answers with an amused smile. Mark blinks at Donghyuck, surprised that he remembered since he’s sure he’s only mentioned his cousin once.

“You joining us for breakfast dear?” Mark’s mom asks Taeyong, who shakes his head with a polite smile.

“No I’ve actually gotta help my mom with some errands. Just wanted to stop by and see my _absolute favorite_ cousin,” Taeyong answers, reaching for Mark’s cheek to pinch it. He succeeds for all but two seconds before his hand is gently swatted away, to which he responds with a slight pout. He turns to Donghyuck then, a certain glint in his eyes. “And meet his- Friend.”

Donghyuck doesn’t miss the slight pause. Or the lilt in Taeyong’s voice when he says it. _Friend_. He shuffles in his spot, briefly glancing towards the table and away from him.

When he looks back at Taeyong, he regards him with a shy smile. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” Donghyuck’s momentarily blinded by the devilishly handsome grin sent his way.

“We’ll see you around this week?” Mark asks. The question seems to trigger something in Taeyong, making him snap his fingers in the air.

“Oh that reminds me, there’s gonna be a bonfire tomorrow at the beach nearby. You guys wanna come?”

“There’s a beach nearby?” Mark asks incredulously. Donghyuck lets out a snort, making Mark turn towards him and squint at him in warning.

“Yeah it’ll be pretty chill. Just gonna be a couple of guys in town getting together. You guys should definitely come,” Taeyong adds. Mark looks to Donghyuck before saying anything. When he sees the other give him a firm nod, he turns to his cousin with a smile.

“Sure yeah that sounds awesome, we’ll be there.”

“Great! Well I’ll head out then, let you all eat your breakfast.”

“Sure you can’t stay and eat?” Mark’s mom asks a final time.

“Sorry auntie, busy day,” Taeyong answers. She nods in understanding, still looking slightly disappointed. Taeyong walks towards her and gives her a quick peck on the cheek before saying goodbye to everyone. Mark and Donghyuck walk him out to the front door. As soon as Taeyong steps out of the house, Donghyuck leans in to whisper at Mark’s ear.

“Your cousin looks like he jumped right out of a fashion magazine. Does he model? He totally could.”

“Actually, I’ve got a pretty funny story about that. Later though,” Mark says with a wide grin. Donghyuck pokes his side in protest, interest definitely piqued. Mark captures one of his wrists in his hand, trying to stop himself from giggling.

“Boys? Before the food gets cold,” Mark’s mom calls out. Donghyuck slips his hand away at the first word, immediately making his way back towards the table. He briefly turns back to Mark to shoot him daggers with his eyes, wordlessly warning him to spill about the story right after breakfast.

At the dining room table, Mark just listens and watches as Donghyuck engages in casual conversation with his parents. Seeing the way he interacts with them, a different aura of politeness and charm to him, Mark can’t help but silently smile into a bite of his toast.

They eat, they laugh, and somehow Mark finds himself falling even deeper for the boy with the bright smile and beautiful voice. 

From now on, home for Mark will be wherever Donghyuck is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twitter: @pseudoserendpt


	5. seam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time since the last update and I'm really sorry for taking so long. I hope it's some consolation that it's because the ending turned out to be a lot longer than I expected, and so voila- I'm adding another chapter again! This should be the very last addition. 
> 
> Also this chapter is a bit longer than usual just because I didn't want to end it on a cliff-hanger-y note. And I figured I should release more content after making everyone wait long. It might take me quite some time to finish the last chapter but I will do my best to wrap up the story soon! 
> 
> And again, thank you so much for all the lovely support. Hope ya'll enjoy!

“You’re fucking lying.” Donghyuck looks at Mark like he’s grown two heads.

“You can ask him about it if you want, he loves telling the story,” Mark says with a shrug. Donghyuck squints his eyes at him, still challenging him to admit that he’s full of shit.

“You mean to tell me that your cousin was seriously honest to god stopped in the middle of the street in broad daylight...and asked to be in a gay magazine shoot?”

“Yes. He really actually did.”

“And he seriously honest to god became good friends with the dude that tried to recruit him?” Mark nods vigorously. When he sees Donghyuck still squinting at him, he rolls his eyes.

“Come on, you know I’m a terrible liar,” Mark points out. At that, Donghyuck uncrosses his arms and shrugs in acceptance.

“Alright, fair point,” Donghyuck admits. ”Your cousin’s kind of a legend,” he adds, reaching for the bag of chips at the foot of the bed. He opens it and Mark chuckles.

“Yeah he kinda is,” Mark says as he goes for Donghyuck’s lap. When Donghyuck teasingly yanks the bag away from him, Mark scoffs at him in disbelief. He tries to grab Donghyuck by the wrist but as soon as he does, he feels fingers digging into his sides. He can’t stop the laughter that overtakes him then, forcing him to let go in order to better defend himself. At this point, Donghyuck’s tossed the chips aside, focusing entirely on his attack on the helpless, ticklish boy.

“Hyuck- Hyuck stop- I can’t breathe,” Mark pleads through giggles, eventually falling to his sides and momentarily escaping the assault. Donghyuck props himself up on his knees, ready to jump right back into it but the brief break in contact gives Mark enough time to regain himself. Donghyuck’s leaning forward to latch his fingers onto his sides again but this time Mark manages to capture his wrists. He rolls over and pulls Donghyuck to the side, who goes down with a yelp, landing on his back. The two wrestle until Mark eventually ends it by firmly pinning Donghyuck’s wrists down.

“You brat, I just wanted some chips,” Mark says from above him, slightly panting.

“You know, you’re pretty strong for such a skinny fucker,” Donghyuck grits out as he tries to break out of Mark’s grip, evidently without much success.

“Yeah?” Mark leans in, not realizing how close they already are. Donghyuck goes still under his gaze, smirk falling off his face.

Alarm bells were already ringing in Mark’s head when Donghyuck decides to add fuel to the fire by not so subtly glancing at his lips. Mark instinctively does the same, all the while thinking to himself that he’ll be in serious shit if he doesn’t detach himself from Donghyuck in the next second. But looking at the plush lips in front of him, he realizes something. He searches the rest of Donghyuck’s face in awe, wondering how he hadn’t noticed it earlier.

“You haven’t been wearing makeup lately,” he comments quietly. It seems to take a while for Donghyuck to register his words.

“Oh. Um yeah just...haven’t been feeling like it,” Donghyuck replies, breaking their eye contact. Mark lets go of his wrists just so he can hold him by the arms and bring him back up to a sitting position with him. He figures that might not entirely be the reason, but he doesn’t intend to push if Donghyuck didn’t feel comfortable talking about it.

“It looks good on you. The makeup,” is what he says instead. Donghyuck looks up at him. “You don’t need it, you look good without it. But I know it makes you happy.”

Donghyuck stares at him briefly, eventually cracking a smile. He lays back down with a sigh, looking right up at the ceiling.

“I wanted to make a good impression on your parents,” he lets out. “And I figured showing up at their doorstep with my usual getup would probably be the opposite of that.” Donghyuck doesn’t elaborate any further. But Mark doesn’t need him to. He goes to gently flick at Donghyuck’s arm beside him, making him look up in his direction. Once he has his attention, Mark lays a palm up and waits--though he doesn’t have to for very long. Donghyuck smiles as he slides their fingers together. Mark directs his gaze at the hand in his, using his thumb to graze the back of it.

“You know when my cousin came out, it was kind of a big deal. His parents...they didn’t take it very well. They actually kicked him out of the house.”  

Donghyuck doesn’t say anything, just watches him attentively from below.

“And when my mom found out, she was _furious._  I’d never seen her that angry... She invited Taeyong-hyung to stay with us and he was here for like a month. And during that entire time, my mom fought with her sister and her husband.” Mark takes the opportunity to steal a glance at Donghyuck, meeting his eyes.

“Where does he live now?” Donghyuck asks as he twirls one of Mark’s fingers in between his.

“Back at his house. My mom actually managed to knock some sense into his parents. They’ve been working hard to patch things up since,” Mark tells him with a smile. Donghyuck returns it right away.

“Your mom’s incredible.”

Mark nods wordlessly, recapturing Donghyuck’s hands in his and giving it a firm squeeze. Their eyes meet and their gazes hold. And even now, little moments like these don’t fail to make Mark’s heart flutter.

“Can you hand me my backpack? It’s on the floor by the foot of the bed,” Donghyuck suddenly requests. Mark nods and goes to reach for the requested object behind him.

As soon as he starts to loosen his grip on Donghyuck’s hand, he feels the other’s hold tighten, clearly refusing to let go. He turns back around to protest but when he’s greeted by a pout, all he can do is sigh in defeat. By some feat of acrobatics (literally using his feet), he manages to fish the backpack from the ground and onto the bed. The second it lands in front of them, Donghyuck sits up and lets go of Mark’s hand to reach for it. Mark scoffs in disbelief, a whispered _‘brat’_ escaping his grinning lips. Donghyuck sticks his tongue out at him as he digs through his backpack. He retrieves a pouch from inside, opening it swiftly and fishing out a small tube and a compact mirror.

Mark watches in silence and awe as the copper-haired boy drags the tube across his lips right in front of him. He had never seen Donghyuck putting on makeup and he didn’t expect the process to be as intriguing as it is. Then again everything Donghyuck did easily fascinated him.

The loud click of Donghyuck shutting the mirror snaps Mark out of his slight trance. Just then, Donghyuck turns to him with a playful smile.

“Wanna try it on?” he asks, holding the tube up and waving it like a treat. Mark blinks at him, and then at the object in his hands.

“Um, yeah. Yeah sure,” he manages to let out. Donghyuck turns serious for a second, not quite expecting him to agree, but he brushes it off quickly.

When Donghyuck scoots towards him, bringing his face alarmingly close, Mark’s imagination runs a little too far too quick. His heart only slightly decreases in speed when he hears the pop of the tube being uncapped and sees it floating towards his face.

“Stay still,” Donghyuck whispers right in front of him, gently capturing his chin with his left hand. Mark inevitably stops breathing. So much for his heart slowing down.

The first thing he feels is the coolness of the material on the bottom of his lips. He stares at Donghyuck’s concentrated face, idly counting his moles. Donghyuck’s eyes flit to his just then.

“Quit staring,” the boy demands. Mark notices the light blush slowly spreading across his cheeks.

“Your moles. They’re cute,” he admits, looking straight into Donghyuck’s eyes and making him pause--his blush deepening. He ignores the comment and continues his work, muttering _‘mole fetishist’_ under his breath. It just makes Mark chuckle.

It only takes Donghyuck a few more seconds to finish and then he’s leaning back again and telling Mark to smoothen his lips together. Mark scrunches his nose at the feeling of the gloss spreading out on his lips.

“Feels kinda weird.”

Donghyuck chuckles. "Whiner."

When Mark’s done, Donghyuck holds up the mirror in front of him. He looks at his small reflection, marvelling at the shine of his lips.

“Looks way better on you,” he concludes.

“Right?” Donghyuck agrees with a scoff.

Distracted by the odd new feeling, Mark goes to lick his lips, grimacing as soon as his tongue touches the gloss. Donghyuck outright laughs. He doesn’t see the way Mark looks at him with open fondness.

Later that night, Mark watches as Donghyuck carefully makes his way to the dinner table, lips shining and eyes shimmering but head a little bit lowered. When Mark’s mom comments on how pretty he looks, Donghyuck gapes at her, expecting to be ignored at best. With a single wave of her hand, she ushers him over. Donghyuck takes small steps towards her. She brushes his fringe aside with gentle fingers, taking the time to properly observe the details of his eyes.

“Beautiful.”

Donghyuck blushes as he bites back a smile, bitter and sweet.

 

\----------

 

“Did you tell your mom? About my parents?”

Mark turns to his right and meets Donghyuck’s eyes. He shuffles to sit himself upright on the bed, rubbing at the back of his neck once he’s settled.

“I did, yeah,” he admits, glancing nervously at the boy beside him. Donghyuck just hums in response. “Shit I’m sorry, I should have said something to you first,” he adds in a rush.

“Oi, get rid of that pout, I’m not mad. I was just asking, you dork,” Donghyuck is quick to say, turning on his side to poke Mark’s leg. “And for the record, Jaemin knows _way_ too much about you for someone he’s never met.”

“Wait what, what do you mean? What’d you tell him-”

“Shhhh, I’m tired and you’re talking too loud,” Donghyuck interrupts. Mark’s about to counter but the next thing he knows, Donghyuck’s scooting himself closer and he quickly finds himself with a copper-colored head on his lap. The trick is effective and Mark is unable to say anything more.

“S’ cold,” Donghyuck mumbles, nuzzling his head closer to Mark’s stomach. Mark thinks the room is actually kind of warm but he’s not going to mention it. Instead he rests his hand awkwardly on top of Donghyuck’s shoulder and tries desperately to get himself to calm down.

Meanwhile, Donghyuck makes a grunt of disapproval from below, grabbing the hand on his shoulder and placing it on top of his own head instead. Mark chuckles, immediately getting the message. He starts threading his fingers through soft locks.

“You’re a big baby, you know that?” Mark tries his best to sound annoyed but the fondness in his voice is clear as day.

“Shut up and keep petting me.”

“You want a treat or something? Maybe play fetch outside?”

“Quit your sassing Mark Lee,” Donghyuck says with a laugh that matches the smile on Mark’s face.

It’s quiet for a while, the room only being filled by the sound of their even breathing. Somewhere in the distance, a car can be heard whizzing by, passing through the night in a fleeting moment.

“Hyuck?” Mark calls out, voice lowered. Donghyuck hums in question. He sounds like he’s falling asleep. Mark takes a single deep breath and then his hands are pausing.  

“I wanna tell you something.”

The serious tone in his voice is subtle, but Donghyuck doesn’t miss it. His eyes flutter open and with a twist of his body, he finds himself looking up at Mark. He looks curious and somewhat nervous as he holds the other’s gaze from below.

Mark wants more than anything to just dip down and capture shimmering lips in his.

“I’m gay,” he says instead.

He hadn’t really planned on coming out to his friend like this but in the moment, it just felt right. It felt like home, comfortable and warm on his lap.

Mark watches Donghyuck, who had a cryptic look on his face. He could almost hear the gears turning in the other’s head, going too fast like they always did.

“Have you told them?” is Donghyuck’s first response, his calm voice juxtaposing the storm behind his eyes. Mark shakes his head ever so slightly.

“You’re the first to know.”

There’s something dancing behind those dark orbs below. Donghyuck looks like he has a million things to say but instead he just smiles, and reaches out into the empty space above him to capture Mark’s cheek in a gentle pinch.

“Welcome to the club, Mark Lee.”

Even in the dark, Mark is blinded by Donghyuck’s smile.

 

\----------

 

“You’re not planning on wearing that are you?” Donghyuck asks the moment he walks into Mark’s room, eyeing his beige polo shirt with a quirked brow.

“What why? What’s wrong with it?” Mark flusters.

“You look like you’re going to church. And not the cool, casual ones where the pastor wears flip flops and shit,” Donghyuck answers with a wave of his hand, brutally honest as always. Mark looks down at his attire and grimaces.

“I mean it’s not like we’re going to a party either,” he offers in defence. Donghyuck lifts his brows even higher. “What? Taeyong-hyung said it’ll just be a couple of guys. It’ll be chill.”

“Teenagers getting together over break? On the beach? Without alcohol? I _highly_ doubt it.”

“Seriously?” Mark asks, still uncertain.

Donghyuck gives a single, confident nod. Mark groans in defeat.

“Fine, fine I’ll go change. What are _you_ gonna be wearing?”

“I’d worry more about yourself,” Donghyuck teases as he reaches for his bag. Mark rolls his eyes, going to his drawers to fish out more acceptable clothing as Donghyuck walks out of the room. He finds a fairly plain white shirt and settles for it, changing into a pair of light jeans as well. In a matter of minutes, he’s completely dressed. So he plops down on his bed and waits for Donghyuck to finish getting ready.

Looking around his room, he finds himself immediately drawn to his guitar. Something close to anxiety creeps up on him but he ignores it as he goes to pick up the instrument. Once he’s back on his bed with the guitar on his lap, it dawns on him how long it’s been since he’d held the instrument. It feels almost foreign--but really just forgotten. He takes a hesitant strum and immediately grimaces at the painfully untuned sound it lets out, as if it was personally scolding him about the neglect it’s been put through. He tinkers with the instrument for a little while, tuning it by ear as best he can. Eventually he’s satisfied enough and he starts playing the first song that he remembers, even humming along after a while. He stops in the middle of the song, having forgotten the rest of it. But by the end of it, he’s smiling down at the instrument in his hands, giddy from nostalgia.   

“You’re pretty good at that.”

Mark snaps his head up at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice. Immediately he finds himself blushing, but not because Donghyuck had heard him play the guitar and somewhat sing, completely sloppy despite the compliment he was just given. Instead, he looks at the boy in the doorway from head to toe, in nothing short of awe.

The first thing that comes to mind is that Donghyuck has absolutely no business looking _damn_ _good_ in a Hawaiian shirt. It’s black and tucked into a pair of equally black, tight jeans with striking red stripes along the sides. The belt and chain add even more flare and when Mark’s eyes wander back up, he notices the silver necklace resting right above Donghyuck’s inner collar bones. His makeup is simple but still eye-catching. And caught were Mark’s eyes.

“Is it too much?” Donghyuck wonders after a few seconds of pure silence.

“No no it’s good- you uh- you look good, Hyuck. Really good,” Mark stumbles through his words as he slowly rises from his seat on the bed. “Really. You look great,” he adds, though he probably got his point across judging by the pink hue slowly painting the other’s cheeks.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Donghyuck responds, nodding at him.

“Liar. Now I have to go change again. I can’t wear this when you’re looking like _that_ ,” Mark gestures towards Donghyuck’s attire.

Donghyuck tilts his head to the side, his hips following the motion ever so slightly. “Looking like what?”

Mark wants to stomp across the room and wipe the smirk off Donghyuck’s pretty face--ideally with his lips. But the sudden surge of nostalgia consumes him, bringing him back to a cold staircase and an even colder gaze--nothing like the warm orbs peering playfully at him now.

“Still a normal teenager. But better dressed,” Mark answers with a grin. He sees Donghyuck’s eyes spark with recognition and amusement. “Way better dressed than me, that’s for sure,” Mark says, holding the hem of his plain white t-shirt.

“Stick with it, the white shirt looks good on you. You have the shoulders for it,” Donghyuck counters. Mark cocks an eyebrow and Donghyuck’s already rolling his eyes.

“Oh do I?” He figures, two can play at this game.

“You’re fucking annoying, let’s go,” Donghyuck says with a groan before turning around to walk out into the hallway. Mark jogs to catch up to him, smiling amusedly and with a sense of victory.

While they’re standing outside waiting for their ride, Mark steals a glance to his left. Donghyuck’s looking down, moving his feet lazily over the concrete, tracing invisible patterns with the tip of his shoes. The dim lamp post casts a soft glow on his bronzed skin. Light locks fall over his forehead, kissing the tops of his eyelids with each sway of his head.

They’re standing right next to each other, shoulders brushing, but Mark thinks it’s too far--way too far.

With his left hand, Mark reaches up for Donghyuck’s face. Slowly, he brushes away the strands of hair on his forehead. His fingers trace the outline of the uniquely-shaped ear as he gently tucks the hair behind it. As soon as he brings his hand back, he meets Donghyuck’s eyes and sees something along the lines of confusion dancing behind them.

Mark almost lets out a laugh in disbelief because _after all this time? Still?_

In that moment, he realizes it. That no amount of hand holding or hair stroking or close cuddling will make Donghyuck understand that Mark wants to be more than just his close friend. Perhaps he treasures what they already have too much. Either way it’ll never happen, not without words. This clicks in his head and suddenly, everything becomes simple.

He didn’t plan on doing it here, outside of his house and under the blanket of the night sky. But by god he just _wants_ to-- _has_ to. The thought that he should maybe take a step back and reconsider his timing briefly passes through his head. But he realizes he’s done with the hints and just wants to blurt out the answer, loud and clear.

Because Donghyuck deserves to know that to Mark, he shines the brightest out of all the stars in the sky, in all the infinite universes.

“Hey I’ve got something to tell you,” Mark abruptly turns to say, the words kind of stumbling out in a rush. “It’s kind of important. Really important. Actually,” he adds, a little more slowly. His serious tone and somewhat nervous demeanor immediately catches Donghyuck’s full attention, who carefully nods for him to go on.

Mark’s opening his mouth to continue but in the same instance, he hears a single honk from behind. His head instinctively turns back towards the sound and he sees an unfamiliar car pulling up to their spot on the curb. It stops right in front of them, the window on the driver’s side already rolled down.

“You two look like you’re ready to have fun,” the guy behind the wheel--evidently not Taeyong--says to them. Mark and Donghyuck look to each other.

“Yeah but not _too_ much fun. They’re still in high school.” Mark recognizes Taeyong’s voice and bends down to wave at his cousin in the passenger seat. The blonde man next to him scoffs.

“Remind me who it was that had to take care of _your_ blacked out ass all the time sophomore year- ow!”

“Goddamnit Yuta, I’m trying to set an example here.”

“A little late for that, huh?”

The sudden presence of the two college students clears the tension for the moment. Mark and Donghyuck share amused smirks before hopping into the back of the car.

“Do as you say, not as you do?” Mark offers with a weak smile when Taeyong looks back at him in concern. His cousin nods quickly in response.

“Since I’m not related to anyone in here, does that mean I’m absolved of all responsibility?” Donghyuck pipes in from the side. Taeyong looks at him and then at Mark.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry,” Mark assures his cousin, who accepts with a sigh. Donghyuck beams next to him.

“Alright, buckle up kids,” Yuta calls out from the front. The two boys in the back click their seat belts, and the car takes off.

Whenever there’s a lull in the conversation, Mark finds his eyes wandering to his side. Donghyuck sits quietly next to him, staring out at the window and bobbing his head slightly to the music. Again, Mark thinks he’s too far. He realizes how clingy he’s become but he’s not entirely bothered by the drastic change, already coming to accept it in fact. Luckily, Donghyuck has always craved affection. And Mark almost has too much of it to give.

When Donghyuck turns his head and meets Mark’s gaze, he looks a little caught off guard. But in the next second he’s smiling. And so is Mark.

Maybe he’s selfish for wanting to disturb the stable state of things between them. Maybe he should be more worried about what could happen to them if things don’t exactly go the way he’s hoping. Mark knows all this but he can’t bring himself to be anything but giddy at the thought of confessing his feelings for Donghyuck. He wants to see his face when he says it.

And for some reason, he expects the copper-haired boy to be somewhat angry. He can almost picture it, Donghyuck looking like he’s being told that Michael Jackson made shitty music instead of being confessed to. The thought amuses him, making him chuckle unexpectedly.

“What’s funny?” Donghyuck questions, curiosity in his eyes. It only makes Mark smile wider. For a brief moment, he looks down at his lap and shakes his head lightly. He brings his head back up to look at Donghyuck fondly.

“I’ll tell you later tonight.”

 

\----------

 

“Uhhh. I thought it was only gonna be a few guys?” Donghyuck gapes at the sizeable crowd that they’re walking towards, hanging around a brightly lit fire pit. Walking next to him, Taeyong shrugs.

“Friends of friends. You know how it is.”

Someone in the group hears them approaching and turns himself around. Taeyong seems to recognize the man immediately as he wordlessly jogs towards him with a smile. The dimpled male takes Taeyong in for a hug, their hands interlacing as soon as they part. They smile at each other before turning their attention to the people around them.

“Well, you two have fun. I’m gonna be over there somewhere getting trashed,” Yuta cuts in, already walking away.

“Aren’t you driving?” Mark quickly calls out in concern.

“Taeyong,” he answers back simply with a wave. And just like that, Mark and Donghyuck find themselves standing by themselves, feeling a little bit clueless.

“You know any of these people?” Donghyuck asks, stepping a little closer to him. Mark scans the crowd briefly and shakes his head in response.

“Guess we’ll make new friends then?” he offers with a shrug and a sheepish smile. Donghyuck returns it, though not quite as enthusiastic. Mark nudges him gently. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. I just...don’t do well with a big group of strangers,” Donghyuck admits a little hesitantly. Mark can’t say he was expecting it, given the way Donghyuck has always acted around him, but he nods in understanding.

“Well that’s what I’m here for. Your non-stranger,” Mark says with a raise of his shoulders, as if to put himself on display. Donghyuck looks at him and Mark anticipates the eye roll and sarcastic jab.

But instead, Donghyuck leans forward. He reaches out with his left hand and places it on Mark’s shoulder, dragging it down in a single movement as if to smooth out a crease on his shirt. The warmth from his palm seeps through the white fabric and sets fire to Mark’s chest.

“Lucky me, then,” Donghyuck almost whispers as he retrieves his hand, peering with a somewhat playful look that Mark’s not quite familiar with.

Mark’s heart started racing the second Donghyuck leaned closer but it takes a while for everything to catch up to his brain. When it finally does, it sends his mind reeling as he considers the possibility of Donghyuck honest to god _flirting_? _With him?_   

Doing his best to hide the state of chaos his mind’s in, Mark thinks to just send Donghyuck the least awkward smile he can muster. He ends up letting out a somewhat nervous chuckle anyways.

“You uh, wanna grab a drink?” Mark offers distractedly.

“Sure. But I don’t think they have any apple juice for you.”

“You’re absolutely _hilarious_ ,” Mark responds in the most monotonous tone as he lightly shoves Donghyuck forward.

Eventually they find themselves sitting on a log, feeling slightly less out of place with cups in their hands. Though Mark really just had fruit punch in his. He stares at the red liquid before taking two long gulps, not realizing how thirsty he was.

“Easy there tiger. Wouldn’t want to wake up with a hangover now do we?” Donghyuck pipes in as soon as he brings the cup back down.

“Ugh will you stop teasing me if I take a sip?” Mark turns his head to face Donghyuck, who just holds his own cup up with an innocent smile. “You’re the devil,” Mark tells him before grabbing the cup from his hands. He takes a single sip and immediately his face sours, making Donghyuck laugh next to him.

“Mmm. Delicious...” Mark croaks out as he hands the cup back to Donghyuck, immediately chugging down the rest of his tastefully non-alcoholic drink. “Why would anyone voluntarily drink that?” he adds afterwards.

“Well to be fair, I don’t think you’re supposed to really sip it.” Donghyuck looks to his side and sees Mark, face still scrunched in disgust. He snorts and calls him dramatic. Mark does his best to feign offence, making Donghyuck laugh that beautiful laugh that makes Mark feel warm and light.

Around them, people carry on their own conversations, hollering and dancing amongst themselves. They’re loud and they’re rowdy but they easily fade away in the background when Donghyuck turns to Mark and starts asking him a barrage of little questions.

Cats or dogs? Summer or winter? Eyes or lips? Mark answers each of them, all the while trying to hide the smile that keeps threatening to break out.

“Love...or friendship?” Donghyuck turns to him.

“Both,” Mark answers. Donghyuck immediately lets out a sound, imitating the sound of a buzzer and rejecting his answer.

“You’re supposed to pick one.”

“You can love your friends, Hyuck.”

“No I mean _looove_ love-”

“Yeah I know,” Mark cuts in, his tone evidently more serious. He turns his body to face the now still, and quiet copper-haired boy.

“It happens like this: they start off as a stranger, just like anyone else. And then you meet them--and you might not even notice it right away but something about them just draws you in. So you decide you want to be friends. And you do that. You spend time with them, you get to know them and at some point you start thinking that it’s not enough. Even if you’re already seeing them everyday--talking to them everyday. Then you start to worry that you might end up getting sick of them. But then you realize how stupid that would be because they’re your absolute favorite person in the world. They can literally be talking about the dumbest, most trivial things and it can become the highlight of your day.”

Not once has Mark looked away from Donghyuck, afraid he’ll disappear the moment he does. He takes the moment to look at the boy-- _really_ look at him. His brown eyes, black specks and beige skin. No matter how many times he looks at Donghyuck’s face, he’ll never get tired of seeing it and he’ll never stop thinking how beautiful it is.

“And so one day, you’re sitting alone in your room. And your mind starts wandering. Where it always does. You think about them and how... _insanely_ happy they make you. Really it’s not the first time you’ve thought about it but now you’re also starting to wonder what it would feel like to hold them in your arms real close. To wake up and have their face be the first thing you see in the morning. To kiss them and be able to just drown in the feeling of everything about them. Before you know it, you’ve fallen in love with the stranger that you didn’t even know would become such an important person in your life.”

Mark doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Just that he’s so unbelievably in love with the boy in front of him and that he needs to finally say it. One way or another.  

“All because you were a dork that wanted to come to the first day of class unreasonably early,” he lets out in a single breath, with a stupid smile.

He watches as Donghyuck’s face slowly transforms into a familiar shape of owlish shock. Mark’s quiet now, waiting for a more conclusive reaction. After some time, the nerves finally kick in and just when he’s about to start panicking, Donghyuck shoots up from his seat. Before Mark can even say a word, he snatches the cup right out of his hands.

“I’m gonna go get us more drinks,” Donghyuck says in a rush and walks away just as fast, disappearing into the crowd and leaving Mark alone.

His mind is racing and fully stopped at the same time, all the while his nerves are slowly but surely starting to reach up into the night sky. He’s doing his best to not let the dread drown him but he can’t help but repeat one question over and over again.

Did he just fuck everything up?

 

 

\----------

 

 

Donghyuck heads towards the plastic fold-out table with unusual vigor, not the least bit concerned about the strangers that send him looks as he whizzes by. He’s allowing his mind to think about one thing and one thing only: the task of putting more liquids into the two cups that he’s holding. Everything after that can be dealt with appropriately. Later. Much later. Preferably never.

“Yo ki- whoa there tiger. What are you all strung up for?”

Donghyuck turns a little too quickly at the voice but he recognizes Yuta as soon as he does.

“Uhhh, nothing. You just caught me off guard,” Donghyuck lets out in a rush.

“Sure.” Yuta gives him a quizzical look but doesn’t push it. “Getting a drink for you and Mark?” he asks as he rests his body against the edge of the table.

Donghyuck curses in his head at the mention of the temporarily forbidden name. He nods curtly in response. Yuta eyes him but doesn’t say anything more. So Donghyuck takes the time to turn back towards the table and focus on his task. All he has to think about are these two little red cups. Nothing else.

“So how long have you and Mark been together?”

Donghyuck goes still. Slowly, he turns his head towards the man who didn’t seem to want to leave him alone.

“Okay that’s a really random question. And we’re not,” Donghyuck replies, sounding a little too defensive. Yuta smirks, satisfied that he’s managed to successfully get the other’s attention.

“I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. _When_ are you guys getting together?” he insists. Donghyuck blinks at him.

“We’re not,” he repeats, adding a stronger emphasis to each word. Yuta looks at him, unimpressed. “Is there a reason why you’re so weirdly invested in our clearly platonic relationship?” Donghyuck would usually be a lot more shy given that he just met the guy a few hours ago and that he’s probably much older. But the way that the other’s been sneering at him is kind of getting on his nerves. Thankfully Yuta doesn’t seem the least bit offended by his attitude, simply scoffing amusedly.

“Yo _bro_ , let me just lovingly tuck your hair behind your ear _bro_ ,” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. Donghyuck’s mouth falls the slightest bit ajar. He isn’t able to respond right away, entirely taken aback by the comment.

“Wha-”

“Taeyong told me about you two. Said he’s never seen Mark talk about someone the way he talks about you. I didn’t think much about it until I saw it in person. Jesus it’s honestly kind of unsettling. The dude literally always has his eyes on you. And when you’re _actually_ talking to him he looks even more sickeningly starstruck. You’re not nearly as bad but you’re not entirely subtle either.”

Donghyuck’s quiet, his lips sewn shut. A part of him can’t say anything and the other part just doesn’t want to in the first place. Yuta sighs, realizing this to some extent.

“Look kid, I don’t know your reason for wanting to act dumb but-”

A rather unique sounding laugh seems to call Yuta’s attention all of a sudden as he pauses to look back towards the firepit, the apparent source of the sound. Donghyuck traces his line of sight. He sees Taeyong, doubled over with full teeth on display in front of the same man they saw him run up to earlier in the night. Donghyuck thinks he kind of sounds like he’s losing his breath and dying from it, making him chuckle.

When Taeyong takes a step forward and leans his forehead on the other man’s shoulder, Donghyuck smiles briefly before his eyes naturally fall away from the somewhat intimate scene. But Yutas’ linger for a little longer. Donghyuck’s studying his face carefully and he notices how...emotionless it is.

Eventually, Yuta lets out a shallow sigh and turns away, training his gaze on his own lap for a brief second before speaking up again.

“Word of advice from someone who played dumb about their feelings _way_ too long? Don’t. You never know if--scratch that. Someone else _will_ come along and see the same special things in them that you do. And they'll actually have the fucking balls to act on it.”

Yuta doesn’t wait for Donghyuck to respond, immediately pushing himself away from the table. Without another word, he places a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder and walks past him.

Donghyuck looks down at the one empty cup in his hand.

It doesn’t seem like such an important task anymore.

 

\----------

 

After Donghyuck practically ran away from his barely veiled confession, Mark has spent the past few minutes teetering on the edge between cool composure and complete madness. But that’s a mild way of putting it. More accurately, it feels like he’s losing his damn mind.

“Hey um, excuse me?”

Mark whips his head up at the unfamiliar, deep voice. Slowly, he takes in the appearance of the man standing in front of him. Once he does, it sends him back to a few months ago on a sunny day, sitting under an old oak tree and having lunch with an exciting, new friend.

_[“Really tall. Skinny but lean. Blonde. Big ears.”]_

When he snaps out of the semi-trance, he realizes the guy’s still standing there with a kind of shy, goofy smile and big, almost puppy-like eyes. Mark laughs incredulously to himself. With unavoidable bitterness, he wonders if Donghyuck also happens to like those traits in guys.

“Hello. My name is Lucas. Um. I’m sorry if I am...hassling you but I want to um. Ask you a question?”

From the slightly awkward wording and the hesitant way he’s speaking, Mark quickly comes to the conclusion that the guy--Lucas--must be a foreigner. Not to mention the rather heavy accent.

“Oh. Uh yeah go ahead. I’m Mark by the way,” he finally manages to say. He gets up and extends a hand out, begrudgingly noting that the man definitely had quite a few inches on him.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mark.” Lucas takes his hand immediately and his smile widens.

For a brief moment, Mark thinks that if he hadn’t already been so strongly smitten with a certain golden boy, this Lucas character might have been able to make his heart skip a beat. The guy was ridiculously charming--and he’s only known him for about a minute.

“Um. The guy that you were talking to. Is he...your friend?”

Mark doesn’t know what to say at first, immediately picking up on where the conversation is likely heading. An uncomfortable weight sinks heavy in his gut. But he can’t help but force out a small smile as he nods in answer to the question.

_Why do you ask?_

He can’t bring himself to say it out loud, still holding out hope that this isn’t going where he thinks it is. That this handsome, picture perfect guy that exactly matches the description of Donghyuck’s ideal type isn’t about to ask him about said boy and express his apparent interest in him.

Mark gets the urge to turn and run. If he doesn’t hear it, then maybe he can pretend this all away. But Lucas doesn’t give him the chance.

“So you are friends?” he asks again with a slight tilt of his head. The uncomfortable feeling settles deeper into Mark’s gut, digging through him.

“Yeah. Yeah we’re friends,” he grits out.

When he sees something shine behind Lucas’ eyes--something awfully like relief--Mark can’t stop his face from falling.

“You and him seemed...” Lucas starts but trails off, unable to recall the appropriate word.

Mark finishes for him. “Close?” To which Lucas nods excitedly. “We are,” Mark says right away, almost defensively. “But just as friends,” he adds just as quickly and with a softer tone.

“Okay. Thank you,” Lucas gives him one last sheepish smile.

Mark doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So he just settles for a curt nod. He lets his body slump back down on the log and watches Lucas as he walks away. When he starts going up to someone--a boy that Mark could easily recognize just from seeing the back of his head--that’s when it becomes apparent that it’s time to tune out. But at the same time, Mark can’t help but train his gaze on the two, his eyes nervously flitting back and forth between them.

He sees Lucas, smiling brightly at Donghyuck and radiating even more charm if that was even possible. The tall male says something and Mark watches as it elicits a shy smile from Donghyuck, the particular expression not quite familiar to him. It’s then that Mark finally decides to stop torturing himself.  

“You’re an idiot, Mark Lee,” he whispers bitterly to himself, feeling the almost unbearable heaviness of regret pooling in his stomach.

Mark looks around at all of the people milling about in front of him. And he wonders if anyone else’s heart was shattering into a million pieces like his was. He sure as hell hopes not.

“You look like you could use a drink.”

Mark barely tilts his head up at the voice. He peers up to see who it is, but all he sees is red. It takes him a second to recognize the cup being held right in front of his face. Jolting his head back from the sudden closeness, he looks to the side and meets eyes with Yuta. Mark just stares at him, and then at the cup and then back to Yuta.

“I’m guessing that’s not fruit punch?” he lets out drily. Yuta just rolls his eyes in response. With some hesitation, Mark finally takes the cup. He stops himself from thinking twice about it and starts taking inadvisably large gulps.

Yuta opens his mouth, as if to say something, but decides not to in the end. He’s about to walk away when Mark finally brings the cup back down and shakes his head violently, face contorted in absolute disgust.

“I’m in love with Donghyuck. Have been for a while. Probably since the beginning actually,” the raven-haired boy croaks out, seemingly to no one in particular even though Yuta’s standing right in front of him.

Yuta doesn’t say anything as he lowers himself to sit next to him. He listens quietly to Mark as he rambles on about the sun-kissed boy from Jeju, only stopping to drink more out of the quickly emptying cup. With equal parts empathy and bitterness, Yuta can’t help but let out a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He remembers being in a similar state after hearing his childhood best friend excitedly tell him about the guy he met in his dance class.  

_[“Yuta, this is Jaehyun. Jaehyun, this is Yuta--my best friend.”_

_“It’s nice to meet you, Yuta.”_

_“Yeah. You too.”]_

When Mark starts to slur his words, Yuta decides it’s probably best to take the cup away from him. He curses to himself when he sees that it’s already empty. Just then, he feels a weight on his shoulder. Mark’s mumbling something but he can barely hear it.

“Mark?”

Yuta turns his head as best he can and is met by a very confused looking, slightly concerned Donghyuck.

“He’s just really tired,” Yuta tries to play it off. Of course, Mark fails to cooperate as his head lolls forward, causing him to slip from Yuta’s shoulder. Donghyuck instinctively reaches down to catch him by the arms, Mark’s forehead coming to rest on his chest. Looking a little bit more alarmed, Donghyuck turns to Yuta, demanding an explanation of some sort.

“Just tired, huh?” he calls back sarcastically. Yuta gives him a close-mouthed smile. Meanwhile, Mark starts to stir, his head eventually moving to look up at Donghyuck.

“Hyuck?” he wonders blearily with squinty eyes. When he recognizes dots painted on bronzed skin, his eyes widen impossibly and he visibly perks up. “Hyuck! Hyuck hi! I missed you. And you smell nice,” Mark lets out before his head slumps forward again.

“You’re fucking shitting me,” is all Donghyuck can say as he struggles to support the full weight of the boy that’s clearly heavier than him despite being similar in height.

“Hey now, language,” Yuta offers jokingly. Donghyuck looks ready to kill him. “Right. So... I’m gonna go.”

“Uhhh excuse me-”

“Go easy on him, alright?” The sudden shift in tone in Yuta’s voice throws Donghyuck off guard. He watches as the older male walks off without another word.

“You. Smell. Nice,” Mark says robotically, hitting his forehead on Donghyuck’s chest at each word.

“I’m sweating.”

“Your sweat smells nice.”

“Christ, how much did you drink? Actually, _why_ did you drink at all? You took one sip a while ago and you were practically gagging.”

“Wait- the elf.” Mark ignores the comment, sitting up all of a sudden and seeming to be a bit more alert.

“Elf?” Donghyuck can only parrot with confusion.

“You should- you should go, he’s waiting for you,” Mark just continues, pawing at Donghyuck’s chest insistently.

“Mark Lee, what the _fuck_ are you talking about?” Donghyuck spits out, his patience running low.

“The fucking...the guy- the really tall blond guy with beefy arms and- He looks like a fucking elf, for Christ’s sakes!” Mark says in a rush, his eyebrows knit tight. “He likes you, Hyuck,” he finishes, sounding tired. Slowly, he detaches himself from the hold that Donghyuck had on him. With his head down, he waits for the sound of footsteps walking away.

“You’re talking about Lucas,” Donghyuck states calmly after a while. Mark just gives a simple nod. Finally, he hears the shuffle of movement but instead of fading footsteps, there’s an audible sigh from right next to him. He turns his head and meets eyes with the boy from Jeju. His first love and first heartbreak.

“He told me I was cute. Asked for my number. He was really nervous. It was kinda sweet actually,” Donghyuck goes on and Mark just grits his teeth in silence. “But I turned him down.”

If Mark thought the world was spinning before, now it felt like it just entered a vortex.

“But he’s an elf.”

Donghyuck laughs, and the bright, airy sound is like music to Mark’s ears. “He is indeed an elf,” Donghyuck affirms with a smile. He turns to Mark then and holds his gaze. “But it turns out, I'm not really into elves.”

Mark is lost. Donghyuck’s smiling at him and he’s so lost, he doesn’t know why his heart starts thumping nervously in his chest.

“What? I don’t-”

“It’s okay Mark. We can talk when you’re not piss shit drunk,” Donghyuck interrupts him with his gentle voice. Mark’s still trying to get a grasp of things when the boy next to him gets up and extends a hand out in front of him. “You probably feel like shit. Let’s go home?”

Mark doesn’t wait to take the tanned hand into his. His head is still spinning and he still doesn’t quite understand what’s going on, but he knows this. He knows that Donghyuck is home.

The rest of the night goes by like a blur. He’s vaguely aware of his cousin moving frantically around him at some point, probably trying to make sure he hasn’t gotten alcohol poisoning--he didn’t. Someone gets scolded and then they’re back inside of a familiar car.

Mark doesn’t ever let go of the golden hand in his.

Even up until the moment he falls asleep, with the warmth of its owner’s chest pressed comfortably against his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the guy who asked Taeyong to feature in a gay magazine shoot was Ten. And they became close friends lol.
> 
> twitter: @pseudoserendpt


End file.
